I recently wrote about our need to choose discipline through exercise.  Not a topic everyone is excited about, I know.  However, …

I just got off the phone with my accountability partner.  We were committing our food choices for the day and discussing exercise.  She has been struggling with even having the desire to get out and walk.  But, she shared about her day on Friday saying that she decided to walk regardless of how she was feeling.

So, walk she did – for a mile.  That was first thing Friday morning.  At the end of her walk she had a renewed outlook on her day and a great deal of energy.  By noon she had accomplished everything she had planned for the day.  This left her with some additional time to take care of tasks that had become “B priorities”.  She went on to say she felt so good all day that she walked a second time that evening.

And on this Monday morning when we are so often dragging ourselves into the work week, my accountability partner got up a few minutes early and walked again.  Her brisk walk gave her the energy she was hoping for and as she drove to work (that’s when we chat each morning) she was looking forward to a good day.

Amazing what a short walk around the block can do for our attitudes.  My partner choose to have a better life and a better day just by making the decision to walk before work.

What is your choice?  If you can’t fit in a walk before work, how about on your lunch break?  How about on a 15 minute mid-morning or afternoon break?  Can you find time after dinner?  If you have a family, take them with you.  Have a dog?  He’d love to go.  Afraid to go out on your own?  Grab a friend.  Don’t want to walk in your neighborhood?  Go to a park.  Weather not right?  Walk in the mall.

We can come up with a long list of excuses why exercise just doesn’t fit into our schedule.  But, excuses they are.  Very few of us have real obstacles that keep us from enjoying some type of exercise.

Make today the day you commit to doing something good for yourself.  Commit to finding the time, somewhere in your schedule, to get your body moving.  Not only is it good for your health, but it is also good for your attitude.

If you feel so lead, share your commit here by leaving a comment.  We will all be cheering you on.

I recently watched the Hallmark Hall of Fame movie Crossroads: A Story of Forgiveness.

If you haven’t seen the movie it is based on the true story of Bruce Murakami.  Bruce’s wife and daughter were killed in a car crash.  As Bruce pushed to find out the truth of what happened he discovered the accident was the result of two boys’ drag race – one collided with the van Bruce’s wife was driving.

In pursuing justice for vehicular homicide, Bruce discovered the only way for him, and his two surviving sons, to heal was to forgive the young man, Justin Gutierrez (Justin Cabezas is the real name of the driver), who killed his wife and daughter.  In doing so, he and Justin form an unique relationship that lead to their speaking to students about the dangers of street racing as well as teaching on general automobile safety.

At the end of the movie Dean Cain (who played Bruce) introduces the real Bruce Murakami.  Bruce said he is often asked how he could forgive Justin for killing his wife and daughter.  “My faith left me no other choice.  Until I forgave Justin I was stuck and becoming another victim of the accident,” stated Bruce.

It was the healing power of forgiveness that enabled Bruce to not only move on with his life, but to use his horrible experience to impact the lives of others - Bruce founded the non-profit organization Safe Teen Driver, www.safeteendriver.org.

To read and hear Bruce’s story told in his own words visit the website he created for his wife and daughter http://www.touchedby.com.   Click on the What Happened link to view the timeline of events, read letters from Bruce to his wife and daughter, and to see video clips of Bruce and Justin.

I ask you again, who do you need to forgive today?  The forgiveness you offer may not be as dramatic as that of Bruce Murakami’s, but it is nonetheless as important.  Free yourself from the bondage of anger and bitterness.  Choose a Better Life by choosing to forgive.

Like many of you, I watched American Idol last night.  They had been giving this Idol Gives Back show a lot of hype and I was curious to see what it entailed.  (As an Idol fan we either watch or DVR American Idol every Tuesday and Wednesday anyway.)

I must say, I was quite impressed.  By the end of the show they announced they had raised over $30 million dollars for Africa and the US.  $30 million, that’s $15 million for each country!  And I’m sure that number will continue to increase as the totals are calculated.

Why do I bring this up?  Because this is a great example of God working through people to impact the world.  Under the umbrella of the ONE Campaign  (www.one.org) people from across America are being mobilized to make a difference.  As per the ONE website:

The ONE Campaign is an effort by Americans to rally Americans . one by one . to fight the emergency of global AIDS and extreme poverty. ONE is students and ministers, punk rockers and NASCAR moms, Americans of all beliefs and every walk of life, united to help make poverty history.

We can make a difference.

Too often we get caught up in the busyness of our own lives to stop and look at those around us.  We fail to see the single mom struggling to raise her kids, the couple whose marriage is in turmoil and in desperate need of encouragement, the student at our child’s school who is denied adult role models, the grieving co-worker who has just lost a loved one, the neighbor who has lost his job and is in fear of losing his home or the homeless man on the corner.

Even if you are not moved to participate in the ONE Campaign, you can be used to impact the people around you.  Ask God to open your eyes to the one he wants you to help.  Find creative ways to give back.  You may or may not have the money to give, but you can certainly find time to give a child a hug, to listen to your co-worker share his memories, take a walk with the wife who needs to know she is not alone or take a meal to a struggling parent.

Giving back is not difficult if only we are willing to be used.  Become a God-sighting and choose to make someone else’s life a better one.

Recently my husband and I came across a new magazine; at least it’s new to us. Motto.  Their manifesto is as follows:

For the Individual

• We believe that people want their careers to stand for more than a paycheck.
• We believe that everyone has the right to seek out the work life that makes them happy.
• We believe that people shouldn’t have to check their personal values at the office door; instead those values should match their work environment.

For Companies

• We believe that companies play a growing role in our society; they should be a force for good.
• We believe there is a spirit of each business that shines into communities, employees and customers. That spirit can be as positive (or negative) as the leaders choose to make it.
• We ardently believe in capitalism. Profitability drives possibilities.

Where They Come Together

• People want to connect to a company. Finding that sense of community leads to more fulfilling work.
• Organizations with a strong mission attract people who work harder and smarter simply because they love being there. The result: the productivity companies crave, achieved humanely.
• The “soft stuff,” as it’s sometimes derided, is as important as technology investment or financial structuring. When companies and individuals get it right, the power is remarkable.
• You can change your company into a place that will attract people you want as teammates.

Woohoo!!!  Immediately I was a fan of the publication.  As an individual working my passion I shout, “Amen!”  As a former business owner I say, “Yes, that’s the way it should be!”  And as a career change instructor I echo the Amen and add, “May it be ever thus.”

This is a publication I now read cover to cover.  I cannot get enough of the profiles that highlight people living their passions and the articles that encourage us to do the same.

Life is about so much more than simply working and surviving.  Life is about taking the gifts, talents, abilities and experiences we’ve been given and using them to impact our world, leaving it a better place than when we arrived.  It’s about Choosing a Better Life and living it with passion!

My passion is to use my writing and speaking engagements to help others grow while encouraging them to make choices that lead to a better life.  Lest I get bogged down in the daily minutiae and forget what I am doing, I have my personal mission statement framed on my desk.  I also keep my priorities posted on my office wall to help me make decisions about potential commitments.

Living with, and working a passionate life is not without risk and sacrifice, however.  As a freelancer I put myself on the line every day.  I have no guaranteed income; no health insurance; no paid vacations, holidays or sick leave; and no staff to fall back on.  When I left the company I helped grow to go out on my own I left the comforts of Corporate America.  However, I knew there was much more to my work life than I was experiencing.

Initially my husband and I built up our own consulting firm.  After being quite successful we went into a joint venture with an international company.  We “hired” over 50 freelancers around the country and set up a system that conservatively projected profits in the millions the first year.  However, (you heard this coming) nine months into the joint venture our partner company went through major internal turmoil and went under.  Since we were small we went with them.  We lost everything, including our home.

We had taken a big risk and from the outsider’s vantage point, it didn’t pay off.  But, to say we learned a tremendous amount and grew from that experience would be an understatement.  Neither of us would change anything.

So, with that experience as a backdrop I had a decision to make, do I go back to Corporate America or do I follow my passion.  The corporate world has a lot to offer and for many it is where they should be, but for me … well, I know I am cut from a different cloth.  I enjoy the flexibility my freelance lifestyle offers and I thrive on using words to connect with people.

Yes, the guaranteed income would be nice and I sometimes wonder if the sacrifices my family has to make are fair.  But in the end, I know that there is nothing I’d rather be doing.  I need to follow my passion and know that my life has made a difference.  One way I Choose a Better Life is by daily taking the risk to follow my mission and share myself with others.

Are you living with passion?  Are you following your heart’s desires?  Do you need encouragement to do so?  Visit www.whatsyourmotto.com or pick up the latest edition of Motto at the bookstore.  Let the people highlighted in this publication inspire you to take a risk.  You will be glad you did.

My husband, Chuck, loves to use the illustration that words are like a tube of toothpaste; once they are out of your mouth, you can’t put them back.

We all know what this feels like.  You’re having a conversation with a friend and slip, out comes something you did not intend to share.  Oops.  More often than not, a similar thing takes place in arguments.  In the heat of the battle, as you are trying to defend yourself and take back ground, you say something hurtful.  You drudge up past mistakes (this relates to forgiveness) or hurl a spiteful word at your opponent.  You are, after all, trying to “win” the argument are you not?

But, there in lies the rub.  What does winning the argument really mean?  Does it mean that you have coerced the other person to acquiesce to your view?  Does it mean that you have slung enough arrows to break down your opponent so he surrenders?  Or does it simply mean that the other person gives in out of tiredness or boredom with the conversation?

The majority of our conversations, I don’t believe, are entered into with the hopes of ending up in a battle of the words and/or wills.  However, since conversations occur between two or more unique individuals, inevitably we will come across subjects on which we disagree.  What do we do at that point?  Do we stuff our feelings and/or beliefs to keep the peace?  By no means.  But, we can express ourselves without entering into a verbal war.

Chuck and I attend a marriage seminar hosted by our church every Wednesday night.  After the teaching portion of the seminar we break into groups of about 12 and discuss the material.  We are fortunate enough to lead one of these groups.

Throughout the last 6 months a recurring theme has been communication.  Recently we were given a list of “Counseling Principles”.  These are tools that the marriage counselor often gives his clients in helping them strengthen their marriages.  One of these principles stuck out to me and it was the topic of one of the group’s discussions.

The Principle – “Pay attention to how your conflicts end and try that in the beginning.”  What he meant was that we need to be aware of our behavior when a conflict is ending and try to start the discussion with similar behavior.

For example, in our marriage we often end a conflict much quieter than when we started.  The majority of the anger is gone from our voices and we are likely to be listening to what the other person has to say. It is only at this time that we can truly hear the other’s hurt and respond appropriately.

So, if we started our conflicts by listening and not defending ourselves or our point of view; by trying to understand instead of thinking about our next response; and by maintaining a normal tone and level of intensity in our voices we’d be much better off.

The same is true of any discussion.  By keeping our cool and thinking of the end result we are able to avoid much of the hurt that often comes from disagreements.  And as a direct result we are able to keep the proverbial toothpaste in the tube.

How much better life would be if we implemented this on a daily basis.  Become aware of your conversations, especially your disagreements, and pay attention to the words you use.  Part of Choosing a Better Life is deliberately choosing to manage our words and the impact they have on others.

As you know from reading the other posts in this category, I’ve made great progress in my health over the past year. Thankfully I was lead to a plan that helped me trade much of my dysfunctional, as in not working, lifestyle for a functional one. I can do things today that I didn’t even dare to dream about a year ago: the least of which is maintaining a healthy weight.

That being said, I still have quite a way to go to get to optimal health. There are entire systems in my body that need attention. They have been taxed for so long that they just no longer function correctly. But thankfully, I am well enough that proper nutrition, whole food supplements, exercise and chiropractic care will correct much of the dysfunction.

So, the question I’ve been pondering for some time is this – Aside from the financial limitations of holistic treatment, knowing the value of good nutrition, why do I struggle with making the right food choices? By good nutrition I mean taking the required supplements; eating whole, organic, non-chemically treated foods; and staying away from the health detractors (sugar, wheat, refined foods, etc.)

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I’ve talked to many people who would rather indulge in the coffee and chocolate bar than eat an apple and some protein. My daughter is a prime example. Gluten and diary trigger her migraines. There is no doubt about that. However, she would rather deal w/ migraines (and the meds) than stay away from gluten and dairy. Now granted, since I make many of her choices for her (she is only 12) she has not had to experience the torture of daily migraines, but regardless, her cravings tell her to eat the poison.

I am not much different. I crave the junk …the things that helped make me sick in the first place. And, unlike my daughter, I have a clear understanding of what these foods do to me. I know that when I eat the candy bar I will pay for it with my health and ultimately my quality of life. So, why am I willing to trade my health for a candy bar? Why do I eat the junk?

Immediate gratification is the “pat” answer but, I think it is more than that. I think there is a lot to do with my desire to be “normal” and to break free of my limitations. But what I need to realize is that the “normal” I think I want is really an unhealthy way of life. It is one that condones overeating and living with poor health. And I am not just talking about struggles with weight. I’m talking about increased fatigue, mood swings, foggy thinking, memory problems, shortness of breath, pain in our joints, etc. What I really want is freedom from all these things.

So, part of choosing a better life is choosing to feed out bodies healthy nutrition. Regardless of what we are craving or what we feel like eating, we need to stay committed to making wise choices. We need to commit to trading immediate gratification for long-term health. Will you commit to that with me today? Will you Choose a Better Life through good nutrition?

Recently I visited with a girlfriend (and her husband) that I have known since college. Because we live on opposite sides of the country we don’t often get to be together.  It was wonderful to get caught up on family and on the happenings in each other’s lives.  We reminisced a bit and shared our plans for the future. As she left I wondered when I’d get to see her again.

After spending time with her I started thinking of all the friendships I’ve had over the years and how blessed I’ve been.  A smile crossed my face as I thought of friends around the US and abroad.  My heart was happy as I remembered great times with girlfriends and saddened as I thought of those with whom I’ve lost contact.

As with anything of value, I am well aware that not all friendships come easily; not everyone is an immediate kindred spirit.  Some friendships require extra work.  They force us to look beyond the “typical” things we are attracted to in a person.  (If we are honest, we will admit that initially we are attracted to people who are similar to us … people who share our beliefs, our desires, our passions.)  But, the difficult friendships stretch us as we are forced to look down deeper into a person’s soul in order to connect.

I am fortunate enough to have both types of friendships.  I love and treasure the times with my kindred spirits.  These are the women that when we are together I feel like we’ve never been apart.  Regardless of the months that have past since we were last giggling over a cup of coffee, we are always able to pick up right where we left off.  And our time together is always too short.

But I’m also realizing just how thankful I am to have the other friendships too.  These are women with whom I have to make a conscious effort to spend time with.  It’s not that I don’t love them, but our conversations don’t flow quite as easily.  We don’t always relate to the world the same way and we don’t necessarily share the same beliefs.  But always, as we spend time together, I am thankful they are in my life.

I encourage you to take stock of the blessings of your friendships.  Tell your kindred spirits how much you love them.  Find time to get together and catch up.  But, in doing so, don’t neglect the friendships that are a bit more difficult.  Make room in your life for them.  Allow yourself to be challenged, to look at the world a bit differently.  Not only will you grow as a person, but your life will be enriched.

As noted in my last entry in this category, I am a proponent of conversations and strokes (those little “hellos” to strangers). I love surprising people with a smile and a hello.

This morning, after an awards ceremony at my daughter’s school, I stopped by my favorite Starbucks. As usual, their staff was fantastic. By the time I got to the register three employees had greeted me and started small conversations. That is exactly why I love this Starbucks … they are friendly and make me feel appreciated.

After Starbucks I stopped at Costco to get gas. As I was at the pump thinking through my day I was pulled back into the present by a very warm, “Hello, how are you today?” The attendant was walking from car to car greeting each of the customers. The conversations weren’t long, but he was attentive to each response and gave a reply back. I also noticed that when the customers asked him how he was, he did not give the same pat answer. Each time he used different words to express that he was well. And each time I watched a smile come across the customer’s face.

I’m not relating these stories as a commercial for these companies but rather as a way to illustrate my point. People like to be noticed and feel connected. And something as simple as a good-morning greeting can make that happen.

As you go about your day today, take the time to smile and say hello to those around you. You, and they, will be glad you did.

I was going to share a story about my food addiction and how I often try to justify my desire to binge. However, I’ll save that for a later entry. What is on my heart today is the need for discipline in our daily habits.

For numerous reasons the last thing I wanted to do today was workout. There are so many other seemingly more important things on my plate – pay bills, work on this blog, begin digging in to the mound of work on my desk, etc. But, I realize that starting my day with exercise, today’s choice was a 40 minute Tae Bo tape, is actually one of the most important things I can do for myself.

Not only does exercise keep my weight in check, but it also provides a tremendous amount of other benefits: reduces stress, increases metabolism, increases muscle tone, increases endurance, fights depression, strengthens the mind, improves the heart, etc. Read more at the Mayo Clinic - www.mayoclinic.com/health/exercise/HQ01676 or ABC News - http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=2945116 or Duke University - http://www.hdlighthouse.org/see/diet/triad/exercise/duke.htm. (The supporting evidence for the benefits of exercise is far too massive to list here.)

Regardless of the type of exercise, the important thing is to be disciplined in our choice to do it. There will always be a host of distractions around us, many things that pull at our time. But, we only have one body and one life. It is our choice what we do with it. We must love ourselves enough to choose discipline in our exercise so that we can reap the rewards and Choose a Better Life.

As I mentioned before, God-sightings can occur anywhere. Since He is the Creator his fingerprints are around us everywhere we look.

One of the places I see Him most often … in Harley, my Husky/Australian Shepherd Mix.

Having come from the pound, Harley is grateful just to have a home. She never complains, even when she is sick, and she is always thankful. After almost every meal she will come over, lick her chops and wag her tail. I know it is her way of saying, “Thank you for dinner.”

Her companionship is amazing. Since I work from home I get to spend many hours with her. Even if she doesn’t want to be petted, she is always by my side. If I walk from my upstairs office to the downstairs to pick something up, she comes with me. When I go back to the office she lays down so she can see me at all times. When I go to the kitchen to fix lunch, yes, she is there.

My husband says she even picks up on my moods. If I’m sick or not feeling well she is quiet and acts as a caretaker. If I am upset she is docile and demure. If I am watching TV and yelling at a hockey game, she is in the other room or upstairs (she does not like loud voices). My husband even jokes that when he comes home he can tell if I’m in a good mood or not just by the way the dog responds when he comes in.

Her behavior that I love the most? Welcome home greetings. As soon as she hears my car pull up in the driveway she goes to the front window to watch me walk up to the house. I can see her from the driveway and immediately it puts a smile on my face. By the time I reach the front door I can hear her on the other side. As I walk in she wiggles and wags as if I’ve been gone for days. At the same time she kisses any part of skin she can find, legs, hands, arms, my chin… And I swear I can see a smile on her face.

And it is in Harley’s unconditional love for me that I get a glimpse of God. For I know that the love I receive from my pup is nothing compared to the love from my Father.