Hi Everyone,

I do hope you are doing well.

I appreciate your support and your readership of my site.  I want to let you know that I am on vacation with limited access to the Net. (Yes, there are still some people who do not live by the Net.)  I will, however, be back in action in about a week and have many things to post about including my fantastic experience with a blue whale - an amazing God-sighting.

Thank you again for reading and commenting.  I’ll post again in about a week.

May you be richly blessed this weekend.

If you are like most people, you probably spend time cursing yourself without even realizing it.  By cursing I don’t mean pulling out alligators’ tails and saying some sort of incantation, but what you do is cursing nonetheless.

How often have you said things like, “I am so fat”   or “What an idiot. I can’t believe how stupid I am” or even, “I hate my life.”

Every time words like these come out of your mouth you are opening the door for disaster.  As spiritual beings we have been given authority over our lives and when we curse ourselves with negative self-talk we are actually giving the powers that be permission to fulfill our words.

In addition, the more we allow negative self-talk to come out of our mouths, the more we are programming our minds to think the same way.  And negative minds beget negative actions.  So negativity perpetuates more negativity.

The reverse is also true.  If we are loving ourselves with our words we are programming our minds to love ourselves too.  This in turn allows us to live a more positive life which enables us to approach others in this same light generating a more positive reaction from those around us.  Positive energy perpetuating positive energy.

Training your mind and your mouth, however, can be a challenge.  If you’ve allowed yourself to be inflicted by others’ words or by your own, most of us have, you have work to do.  My husband helped me realize this several years ago.  I had recorded mental tapes that played all the curses I, or others, had placed on myself.  When I’d get frustrated I’d allow the old negative tapes to play and my words would reflect those messages.

Reprogramming takes work and diligence.  Generally it does not happen overnight, but it is well worth the effort.

I made a list of several things I knew to be true of myself and wanted desperately to believe.  Among other things, my list included: I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14),  I am worthy, my womanly body is beautiful, I am intelligent, I am a good friend, I am successful, etc.

I kept my list where I would see it and be reminded to repeat these things to myself on a regular basis.  Sometimes I’d pick one or two of the items on my list and adopt them as my mantra for days, or weeks, at a time.

The more I read and verbally repeated my list the less power my old, negative tapes had and the more empowered I became. I began feeling restored, worthwhile and capable of facing what was to come.

This truth is one I wished I had understood earlier in my life.  I spent years cursing myself and allowing the curses of others to take a hold of me.  As a result, I have to continually work to break those curses and remove their power.  However, the good news is that the more I do it the easier it becomes.  And the number of negative tapes I have running through my head today are far less than they were years ago.

This truth is also one I am trying to pass on to others, my daughters included.  It breaks my heart to hear one of them spew out something nasty about themselves.  When I hear one of them say something negative about, say, their body, I try to bring it to their attention immediately so they can reverse the effects of the curse and bless instead.

Many of us curse without even knowing it.  We are, unfortunately, so used to hearing the negative that we don’t even notice it.

How many times have you cursed yourself today?  Better yet, how many times have you blessed yourself today?  Be attentive to your words.  Listen to what you tell yourself.  Change your negative self-talk into positive self-talk.  As you do, you will be transformed and you will Choose a Better Life.

I need to celebrate a little so indulge me if you will.

A little over a year ago I could barely walk up my stairs.  I was tired most of the time, had major mood swings, had higher blood pressure and was just overall unhealthy (refer to earlier posts).

Well, this past weekend I had some tests done just because I was curious.  Here are my new numbers:

Blood pressure             92/65

Resting heart rate          67

Total Cholesterol          145

Glucose (after eating)    83

Woohoo!  Although I’m very happy about my numbers, I share them not to brag, but to encourage and remind you that change can happen.  You can get healthy.  You can see results of your discipline and hard work.

If you are on a plan and working toward good health, congratulations.  Stick with it!

If you have not yet committed to good health ask yourself why.  I am a firm believer that all too often we just don’t love ourselves enough to be willing to ask the hard questions … and answer them honestly.  As I’ve shared before, I hid behind my weight and let it be an excuse for why I was not going after the things I wanted in life.  I also turned to food as a way of dealing with the pain I had buried for so many years.

Whatever your reason, know that poor health (regardless of whether weight is an issue or not) is a poor excuse for not living life.   When we are honest, most of us realize we suffer from poor health because of choices we make.  The good news is, since the choice is ours, we can choose to right the wrongs we have been inflicting upon ourselves and improve our quality of life.

I am the first to admit that gaining good health takes time.  For some of us, it may take more time than others.  I, for example, require more sleep than the traditional eight hours.  Depending on my activities my ideal night consists of nine, sometimes ten, hours of sleep.  Because I wake up a little bit later than most, by the time I get my workout and morning routine done it’s already 10:00 am.

I used to feel bad about starting my work day so late in the morning.  But what I’ve come to appreciate is that if I don’t allow myself this time, I am much less productive and effective in my work duties and in my relationships.  So, by understanding my body’s requirements, and taking the steps to meet them, I am much better off and so are the people in my life.

When I am healthy I am a better wife, mom, friend and business person.  The same will be true of you.

Take the time your body needs to maintain good health because without good health you cannot Choose a Better Life.

Whether you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, the janitor at the local high school or a stay-at-home Mom, if you have a job (I consider being a stay-at-home mom a job), you have been given the opportunity to work.  And I do mean opportunity.

Opportunity is defined as “a chance, especially one that offers an advantage” (MSN Encarta).  Working definitely offers advantages.  Aside from the obvious financial benefit that comes from a job, work offers the opportunity to use, improve and gain valuable skills.  It also opens doors for relationships, education and independence, among other things.

So my question is this … what value are you adding to your work?  What are you bringing to your job that no one else offers?  Are you coming to work with a good attitude, ready to pitch in where needed?  Or are you looking at your job as a necessary evil?

If you are one of the fortunate ones who has a job (according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics 6.8 million people in our country do not), whether or not it is ideal, I propose that you are able to make it better just by changing your attitude towards what you do.  Not only does a good attitude help in your outlook on completing the basic tasks required, but it also impacts every person with whom you come in contact.

I’ve posted examples of this before, but a recent interaction sticks out in my mind.  My daughter and I were at the airport (she was flying as an unaccompanied minor) and after she boarded the plane I watched the ticket agent as he scanned each passenger’s boarding pass.  At the end of the line was a young couple with an infant.  The couple looked a bit frazzled as they were gathering their belongings.

As the ticket agent was handed their passes he exchanged pleasantries with the couple.  I could not hear their conversation, but within seconds the couple’s eyes lit up as they were thanking the agent profusely.  I watched their interaction and realized the agent had upgraded the family to first class, without charge.

Just as the doors to the boarding area were getting ready to close, a businessman came hurriedly up to the agent.  He handed in his boarding pass and walked quickly down the ramp.  The agent called him back (I stood a bit closer so I could hear the conversation this time.) and asked if he’d prefer not to sit in a middle seat.  The agent said he could change the seat assignment so the man would be able to sit in a row by himself.  The man was elated.

Neither of these activities caused the ticket agent an extreme amount of additional work, but both blessed others as they were starting their day.  Just by being attentive and willing to make changes, the agent added value to his job and to the airline for which he works.  I imagine the young family and the businessman alike will consider flying this airline on their next trip.  I know I will.

Choose a Better Life by looking for ways you can add value to your work.

Over the weekend I had a conversation that again, reminded me of the impact our attitude has on our quality of life.  Without going into all the details, I spoke with a woman, we’ll call her Becky, and was trying to arrange a get-together for our daughters.

Prior to my family’s move across country two years ago, our daughters had been bosom friends for six years – that’s a long time in the life of a 12-year old. My daughter and I are headed back to California for a few weeks to visit family and catch up with old friends … a perfect opportunity for the girls to get together.

Becky was having no part of it.  She bitterly spouted off a string of reasons why our visit was just not going to work – her kids were out of school, she still had to work, June is a busy month, etc.  Even when I suggested a second set of dates, there was just no way the get together was going to happen.  Then she came to, what I think is the crux of the issue, her mother had passed away since we moved and Becky was going to have to add caring for her father to her list of things to do.

I am by no means minimizing the pain of losing a parent.  Thankfully I have not been in that situation.  I have, however, walked through this loss with a very dear friend and I know how difficult it can be.  I also know that Becky has at least one sibling, whom I know fairly well, who will be helping care for her dad so the burden is not Becky’s alone.

What struck me during this conversation was that Becky was angry with life and very bitter.  I am not a psychologist, but even I can tell that there are some unresolved issues there.  I don’t know if Becky has not forgiven her mom for dying or if she has not forgiven herself for something she did/did not do before her mom passed away, but Becky’s life is definitely fueled by her emotions.

What I find even sadder, is that Becky’s family is run by her emotions too.  Because Becky is holding on to her hurt, her family, in this case her daughter, is missing out on opportunities.

Although this scenario is specific to Becky, it can be true of any of us.  When we are unwilling to let go of our hurt and forgive others we lessen our quality of life.  Most of the time the “offender” has moved on and may not even be aware of the pain he has caused, and yet we still hold on to it and wear it as a badge of honor.  So often we use our pain to justify our place in life.  “If only Steven hadn’t betrayed me, then I’d have gotten my promotion and my life would be so much better,” we rationalize.

It may be true, that a promotion would increase our income and/or make our life a bit easier, but how we deal with not getting the promotion is entirely our choice.  We can choose to wallow in the decision or we can choose to let it go and move on.

My daughter is learning this lesson with our vacation.  She is not able to see two of her best friends (Becky’s daughter is one, the other will be out of town) and she is understandably very disappointed.  However, as I explained to her last night, she is still getting to visit family, see a few friends, visit our old church, go to the beach, go to Disneyland and do a host of other activities.  Now she has a choice to make.  She can either enjoy what we are going to be able to do, or she can allow her disappointment to take over. If she chooses the later she will grumpily walk through the next few weeks and rob herself of the joy she could receive from all the cool things we have planned. Either way, the choice is entirely up to her.

Are you allowing the negative to rob you of your joy?  Is there a hurt you need to let go of or someone you need to forgive?  If so, take action today.  Don’t use pain as an excuse.  Choose a Better Life.