I read the following quote on www.officiallifebydesign.com.

“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt

Amen! I’ll say it again … Amen!

So many people are eager to point out what is wrong in life and what is wrong with you. Don’t listen to them! They are toxic (refer to earlier post). Remember, you owe it to yourself to put a barrier between you and the toxic negativity some people so easily spew.

As I said before, I am not advocating cutting off everyone that is negative. Despite the situation, some relationships are worth keeping. But, you do need to turn a deaf ear toward a lot of what they say.

I have a few relatives like this. No matter what I do, it’s never “right”. I shared with one of them recently about my new relationship with a consulting firm – I’ve been brought on board to work on special projects. The response I got was, “Yeah, well you and Chuck [my husband] seem to get a lot of these projects lined up and they never pan out.”

Wow, talk about deflating my bubble. My initial response was to get defensive and say, “Hey, that’s not true. Yes, we’ve had a lot of projects not go the way we’ve planned, but we’ve had good things come out of them. Many times the end result was better than we expected.”

Thankfully I bit my tongue. I realized that no matter what I said this particular person was not going to see things my way. Where I like to take risks and set out on new adventures, he likes the status quo and stability.

I find that life is so much more exciting when I’m willing to try new things and experience what is “out there”. And yes, sometimes my adventures don’t turn out the way I’d originally planned, but I am always a better person because of them.

So, what do I do with my relative? Just as I don’t want him judging my life I don’t judge his. I love him and bless him in his endeavors, but I don’t take to heart (at least I try not to) what he says. His words do not define me. He does not think like me or understand what motivates me. Where he survives life, I want to live it.

I want to get as much enjoyment out of each day as possible. I admit that sometimes I lose sight of this, but I’m thankful that it doesn’t take much to bring me back around. As Teddy Roosevelt said, I want to be the one “who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

If this is your desire too, I bless you on your adventures as you Choose a Better Life.

What started out as “one of those days” has ended up as “one of those weeks”.  You know, the ones like my Thursday – my morning client meeting had been postponed, but I didn’t hear that until I was standing in the client’s office; the office desk I am building (I’m redoing my entire office) caused me to make 5 trips to 2 different stores to get everything I needed, after 2 hours at the final stop I was told that my project was not do-able and that I needed to return everything I bought; As I was returning the items, I was told by another store employee that the project was do-able I just needed to hire a handyman to help; while I was in the store I got a call from my brother in California telling me that it looks like my dad has colon cancer.  The day continued to go bad from there – primer not covering previous paint color, custom paint color not matching my expectations, dropping and breaking my daughter’s desk while disassembling it, etc.

Although Thursday was the worst, I’ve had similar days since then.  My expectations for my office have not been met and as a result I am behind on work projects.  My father still has cancer, although I’ve not heard the latest update.  My To Do list has more items to complete than is humanly possible.  And in a few hours I pick up my mother-in-law from the airport for a week’s visit.  I love her and am looking forward to spending time with her, but our guest room is full of my office stuff that I can’t move back into my office because it is not yet finished.

This has definitely become a test of my ability to Choose a Better Life.  I have the opportunity to choose to have a good attitude and look for the blessings in my life or I can wallow in frustration and make everyone’s day horrible.  I did the latter for about an hour and a half the other night and the following morning my husband said, “You were no fun to be around last night!”   So, I decided that 1 ½ hours of wallowing is about an hour too long.

So, I’m taking the time to stop, journal, count my blessings and refocus my attention on the good things.  And there are many.  The color of my office walls is subtle, feminine and pretty and it is a great contrast to my black furniture. The legs for my desk are the exact height I needed – and I didn’t have to have them cut down.  I recently bought a laptop that is enabling me to continue working while my pc is dismantled.  I sold my old office desk which is helping defray the cost of my “new” office.  Because my client meeting was pushed back a week I’ve been given more time to complete my office design and spend with my mother-in-law.   I was able to spend time with my dad a few weeks ago when I was on vacation, before we knew about the cancer.  My blessings go on.

I confess that it is easy to get caught up in wallowing. It’s easy to justify those self-pitying feelings.  But, what good do they accomplish?  They don’t.  All they do is continue the cycle of negativity.  So, I choose to deal with the negative instead of focusing on it and I turn my attention to the positive blessings I’ve been given.  What a difference this makes in my day.

I encourage you to do the same.  Choose to focus on the blessings and Choose a Better Life.

I recently read an article titled Patient Heal Thyself in Ode magazine.  The gist of the short article was this – as patients we have a responsibility to know about, and take charge of, our health care.

I couldn’t agree more.

I am not advocating complete self-diagnosis nor am I suggesting that traditional medicine does not have its place.  Doctors, hospitals and prescriptions can definitely be of value.  However, as is all to often the case, we tend to run to the doctor for the most minor of illnesses and injuries.

These well-meaning doctors, succumbing to pressure from pharmaceutical companies and our desire to be “cured’, are quick to prescribe pills.  In our ignorance we accept prescriptions for medications without knowing exactly what we are taking and/or the potential side effects.

As a former pharmacy tech, many of my customers were clueless about the prescriptions I was selling them.  And more times than I’d like to acknowledge, customers didn’t even know which symptom(s) the medicine was supposed to address.  They just blindly accepted the pills and paid the bill.

For years I was no different.  I didn’t understand that I had not only the right, but the responsibility, to ask questions of my doctors.  In an ideal world my doctor would be looking out for only my best interest and would discuss my options before prescribing medications.

However, the reality of current trends in medicine is that most doctors are overworked, burdened with caseloads they cannot possibly serve, working with less and less resources and more and more requirements from the healthcare industry, and are constantly bombarded by pharmaceutical companies.  The field of medicine is not what it used to be.

Again, I am not blaming doctors.  I believe most of them went into their chosen profession with good hearts and plans to help people live a healthier life.  But, things have changed over the past several years and doctors can no longer dedicate the amount of time and wisdom it takes to treat individual patients with the same care that was standard many years ago.

That being the case, it is our responsibility to be listen to our bodies, become knowledgeable about our medications and understand our alternatives.  Not ever cold or cough requires antibiotics, for example.  In fact, antibiotics can become harmful to our bodies if we take them needlessly. (See the following links: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/09/19/48hours/main522536.shtml, http://www.keepantibioticsworking.com/new/resources_library.cfm?refID=36366)  The same argument can be made for other types of medications too. (http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/crhdrugs.html.)

We must, as much as is possible, become aware of what our illnesses are telling us.  Are we feeling nauseous and dizzy because we are sick or are we just dehydrated?  Is my heartburn due to acid reflux or am I simply eating foods to which I am allergic?  Are my joints achy and stiff because I have arthritis or am I just overweight and out of shape?  Are my flu-like symptoms caused by a bacteria or a virus?

If indeed drugs are necessary, we need to ask questions.  Is there a different (and cheaper) drug that will target just my illness as opposed to broad-spectrum drugs that fight everything?  What are the potential side effects?  Will this new medicine interact with any other prescriptions I may be taking?

Also, this is research you will probably need to do on your own, are there alternatives to medications?  Are there supplements that have been proven to help my condition?  Am I eating something that is causing my problems?  Are there food allergies that are triggering symptoms?

Personally I fall into this latter category.  A few years ago I was on seven different medications, many to counteract the side effects of other medications I was taking.  I took these medications for many many  months and did not see any relief from my symptoms.  In fact, I was getting worse.  Thankfully, through a string of events I had to stop taking my prescriptions.  After I stopped my health stayed the same, I did not get well, but I did not get worse either.

Then, as I took steps to become aware of what my body was saying to me I realized I had vitamin and mineral deficiencies as well as food allergies.  As I changed my eating and began supplementing my diet my symptoms began disappearing.  I was able to increase my physical activity and maintain a “normal” lifestyle.

I am, however, very aware that as soon as I fall back into old eating habits my symptoms return.  I become tired, my mind sluggish, my joints achy and stiff, I begin having headaches, I get Irritable Bowel Syndrome symptoms and the list goes on.  These are the same symptoms that lead to an initial diagnosis of Fibromyalgia several years ago.

If I was not aware of my body’s needs I would run straight to the doctor with these symptoms and be put again, on a host of needless medications.  Instead, by getting my eating back on track, taking my supplements and increasing my activity my symptoms disappear and I am again healthy.

So, my question to you is this, are you aware of what your body is telling you?  Are you blindly taking medications?  If medication is necessary (I know sometimes it is) are you aware of the side effects and the potential interactions it may have with other medications – prescriptions or not?  Are you confident that you are following the best course of action for your health?

Choose to become aware and Choose a Better Life.

Yes, the three simple words I am referring to are “I love you.”

These three words can turn a sour moment into something beautiful.  They can diffuse anger, ease frustration, deliver smiles, warm hearts, bring comfort and give someone great joy.  When used correctly, these three words are powerful.

As I shared earlier, I recently returned from a vacation in California where I was able to visit my old haunts and see friends and family.  I am quick to admit that there is nothing like a warm embrace from a long-time friend followed by, “I love you” to make me feel missed.  How I cherish my friendships.

While I was there my daughter and I stayed with one of my closest friends (an old college roommate) and her family.  What a blessing to be welcomed into their home.

My girlfriend has just had her second beautiful baby – her other child is a 5 year old gorgeous boy.  As any new mother knows it is so easy to get caught up with the daily needs of a newborn and let everything else fade into the background.  But, I noticed that my girlfriend makes a concerted effort not to let her newborn’s needs over shadow her son’s.

She is constantly saying to her son, “Hey little man, I love you.”  Even when the baby is fussy, crying and demanding her attention Mom never forgets to let her son know he too is cherished.

What stood out to me even more is that during times of discipline my girlfriend never loses sight of her love for her son.  She would often say, “Honey, because I love you I can’t let you do that.  The answer is still no” or “Little man, I told you not to do that, but you did it anyway.  I love you, but you need to sit in time out.”  Amazing.

I would be remiss if I didn’t also point out that dad does the same thing.  Almost every series of interactions is preceded with “I love you.”

There is no doubt that these kids will know they are treasured.  I am sure, as with every family, there will be times of testing and times when Mom and Dad’s love is pushed to the limit, but I know these kids will be confident they have a safe place where they are cared for and loved … a place to which they can always return.

Three simple words can make such a great impact.  I love that I got to see my girlfriend’s family in action.  Love is the underlying current of everything they do.

I didn’t grow up in a home where “I love you” was ever spoken so I had to learn to express myself as an adult.  I am so thankful I did.  There are few feelings as good as the one that comes from giving and receiving an “I love you.”

These three simple words can make all the difference.  Who do you need to say them to today?  Choose a Better Life by letting someone know you love them.  Regardless of whether or not your love is reciprocated, truly giving it to someone will brighten your day and impact theirs.

I have been blessed with many wonderful experiences (dancing in the Super Bowl, swimming with dolphin in Tahiti, spending the summer in the former Yugoslavia and others) and I am anticipating many more.  During my recent trip back to California I was given another one of these extraordinary experiences.

One of my favorite activities in California is dolphin and whale watching with the crew of Captain Dave’s Dolphin Safari (www.dolphinsafari.com).  I have been dolphin watching on both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans and Captain Dave’s Safari is by far the best experience.  My recent expedition marks my third safari with Captain Dave’s.

On June 19^th I took my mom (her first trip with Captain Dave’s) and my daughter (her second) to Dana Point to board a catamaran for a two-hour safari.  As an ocean nut, there is almost no place I’d rather be than on the water (that’s on the water, not in the water). So, any day on the ocean is a good day.  But, on this particular Tuesday we were especially blessed.

Earlier in the day the crew had seen two blue whales and they were hoping to find one of them again.  We traveled several miles out and to our delight the captain spotted one of the whales in the distance.  With my daughter and I standing on the front point of the catamaran we headed towards this amazing animal.

With patience (the whale was diving for ten minutes at a time) and the captain’s knowledge it wasn’t long before we were just a few hundred feet from the blue whale.  I was in awe.  This whale, the largest animal on earth, was moving through the water just a stone’s throw away from us.  She was estimated to be 75 feet long with a tail that was as wide as our boat.  Just three feet of her weighed more than our entire catamaran.  Her heart alone is the size of a small car.  She was amazing to watch.

As we stood on the arm of the catamaran closer to this giant animal than most people will ever be, I realized that with just one swipe of her tail she could break the boat to pieces.  It would take but an ounce of her strength to turn us into matchsticks.  The power contained in this animal is more than I can imagine.  And here we were sailing next to her and often above her as she dove.  Amazing!

A few times while the whale was diving the captain turned the catamaran towards a pod of Risso’s dolphins.  Although I have seen other large pods of dolphin while with Captain Dave’s this day was even more special.  Risso’s are shy and not as common as other dolphin making them harder to spot.  However, here we were enjoying about 100 of them.

If you’ve seen dolphin in the wild there is nothing like it.  They are playful, talkative and incredibly graceful.  As they glided through the water we could hear them “speak” to one another.  The sound was amazing as the clicks surrounded the catamaran.  These wild dolphin would jump in the air as if they were trained.  In fact, prior to my safaris with Captain Dave’s I thought show dolphin had been trained to do just that, jump and play.  Not so.  They do it in the wild as part of their natural way of life.

Throughout our expedition, we would alternate between the large, powerful whale and the elegant dolphin.  What an amazing experience.  There are just not words to describe the overwhelming sense of God: his power and strength of which we got just a glimpse in the blue whale and his creativity and playfulness of which he put but a drop in the beautiful Risso’s dolphin.

I am in awe of the Creator who is more than my feeble mind can comprehend.  And I am forever thankful for this small glimpse of Him he allowed me to experience.

For more information on Captain Dave’s Dolphin Safari and for numerous video clips visit them at www.dolphinsafari.com.