This was sent to me in an email and I thought it was worth sharing. This is the perfect example of choosing to look for the good and having an attitude of gratitude.

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE
WHO SAYS IT’S HOT DOGS TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME,
AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE HUSBAND
WHO IS ON THE SOFABEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME
AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.

FOR THE TEENAGER
WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME.
NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE A HOME.

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING
I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT
I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION.

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM WARM.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I CAN HEAR.

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
BECAUSE IT MEANS
I AM ALIVE.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to be thankful.

“An attitude of gratitude” that phrase has been thrown around a lot over the years and with our having just celebrated Thanksgiving the phrase is in the forefront of my mind.

So, what is an attitude of gratitude?  In short, it is a frame of mind, a way of thinking and looking at life and it can be summarized in one word … thankfulness.

As I’ve posted before, there is a direct correlation between our level of thankfulness and our quality of life.  Thankfulness increases our quality of life while negativity decreases it.  Think about it, when we are thankful, our overall mood is upbeat, fun, joyful, and well, thankful.  When we are ungrateful and negative we tend to be grumpy, bitter and angry.

There is no doubt in my mind which of these I’d rather be.  So, in an effort to cultivate a continual attitude of gratitude I take time to recount my blessings and bless others.  I have also been disciplining myself to speak out loud something positive about every challenging situation that comes my way.  A perfect example occurred this past holiday weekend.

Saturday afternoon my family and I returned home after having run errands.  I walked into the garage looking for a yard rake and heard what sounded like a waterfall.  As I looked around I discovered we had a pipe that had broken in the ceiling and pouring out of it was steaming hot water.

My husband began shutting off valves and I got on the phone with our home warranty company. Eventually we had to have the water to our home shut off in order to stop the flow of water into our garage.  In the few hours of chaos it took to get the situation under control I noticed several boxes of books, pictures, office paraphernalia and my husband’s Monopoly collection were showing signs of water damage.

After several calls to our home warranty company we realized that a plumber was not going to be able to make it to our home until the following day.  We had a choice to make, we could be angry and upset about the situation, or we could have an attitude of gratitude and enjoy the rest of our weekend.  We opted for the later.

What did we have to be grateful about regarding a broken water pipe?  Plenty… the pipe that broke was in the garage, not the house, many of the water damaged items in the garage were at least somewhat salvageable, we had just renewed our home warranty four days earlier, a friend gave my husband and me a great rate at a hotel for the night, my daughter stayed the night with another friend and had a great time, the pipe was fixed the next day, and the plumber gave us great information on preventative maintenance for the rest of our pipes. All in all it was a good experience – a good experience because we choose to look for the positive things for which we were thankful.

Just before the Thanksgiving holiday I was watching a morning talk show. The topic of discussion was this very thing, how can we be thankful and show gratitude for our challenges.  One of the experts in the discussion said this, “A great way to express gratitude is to find a need of yours that has been met and meet it in someone else’s life.”   Her examples included a cancer survivor sitting with a cancer patient who is undergoing treatment or a formerly homeless person serving meals at a rescue mission.

Acts of gratitude don’t have to be this dramatic.  They can be as simple as being thankful for the location of a broken water pipe.  It is not how we show gratitude that is as important as the fact that we recognize our blessings and are genuinely grateful for them.

Choose a Better Life by adopting an attitude of gratitude.

Thanks to email, I have recently been introduced to a woman I admire.  We have only had a few exchanges, but I already know she is an inspiration.  I know this because she is pursuing her passion.

Barb has identified her heart’s desire – developing and empowering employees - and laid out a plan of action.  She has researched her interests, begun her education, and recruited the help of a mentor who currently works in the field. 

While Barb works toward completing her education she is absorbing as much information as possible.  She is working with her mentor and enlisting the help of other trainers along the way.  She is aligning her work life with her passion and is going for it with gusto.

Barb desires to make a difference in peoples’ lives and she understands that one person can impact many.  In her email signature she has the following quote:

“I am only one - but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”

~ Helen Keller

Are you doing the something you can do?  Choose a Better Life by choosing, not to do everything, but to do something.

First, I did not post last Tuesday, forgive me.

Tuesday evening I went to a business networking event.  There were about 100 business people from our area talking, making connections and sharing great ideas.  What I found interesting, however, is that two of my more prominent conversations had nothing to do with business, per se.  Instead, we discussed the need to “take care of yourself.”

By taking care of yourself I don’t mean we need to “watch our backs,”  “look out for number one” or do “whatever it takes to climb the corporate ladder.”  What I mean is that we need to simply take time to care for our own emotional, spiritual and physical needs.  As one gentleman put it, “Everyone talks about it, but no one does it.”

You need to do it.  You need to give yourself time to nurture your spirit; time to decompress, relax, reflect and rejuvenate.

How you do this is up to you.  You may find that a long bubble bath does the trick.  Or maybe it’s a walk in the park, or a trip to the beach or the mountains.  It could be as simple as going to the library, checking out and reading a good book.  Maybe building something with your hands is what relaxes you or sitting in a café journaling.  Whatever it is, it is important to make time for you; your needs are important.

Without the time to decompress we run from task to task stressed out which eventually leads to burn out.  And when we are stressed and/or burned out we are of no value to those around us.

You’ve come across people like this.  They are tired, snippy, grumpy and much less effective in everything they do.  These are the people who look to be holding it together, but in spending just a few minutes with then you realize they are on the verge of snapping.  They are either frantically living or walking around in a semi-comatose state just trying to cope.

All too often we allow ourselves to get to this point because we won’t stop and take time for ourselves.  We make the excuse that time for ourselves is selfish, but the reality is that time for ourselves is necessary for us to serve those around us - both in our personal and professional lives.

“But, I don’t have the time to take a walk, or read a book, or pamper myself.”  The truth of the matter is that we can always make time for our priorities even if that means saying “No” to commitments and opportunities.

In fact, saying “No” is one of our best weapons against burn out.  We are inundated with good opportunities.  Opportunities to join teams and committees, to mentor people coming behind us, to give our time pro bono, to take on another project, to serve in civic groups, the list goes on.  I am a great proponent of these things and participate in many of them.

However, I’ve learned that I cannot accept every opportunity that comes my way.  I must say “No” to good things in order to maintain my sanity  I must leave time in my schedule to take care of myself of I will not do anything well.  As a result I often say “No” to the good in order to accept the great.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to care for your own needs.  As you do you will be better equipped to serve those around you and you will excel in your commitments.

As a family we try to live a “pay-it-forward” lifestyle.  That is, we look for ways in which we can be a blessing to others. The blessings we give may be small - a ride to the grocery store for my neighbor who doesn’t have a car, or big – inviting a family of 4 to stay with us for 3 months while they were in the States on sabbatical.  But, regardless of what it is we do, we try to do it with the sole intention of blessing someone else.

This philosophy isn’t one we only try to foster in our private lives, but we live it in our business lives as well.  In fact, my husband, Chuck, recently blogged about the “pay-it-forward” lifestyle and gave tips on how you can begin doing it yourself.

His blog is called Forward 10 and the complete post can be found here http://www.forward-moving.com/blog/author/Chuck.  But, just to give you a taste, his 10 points were as follows:

1. Enter new business relationships without an agenda.
2. Remember where other people are coming from first.
3. Keep an eye out for ways you can help others.
4. Empower and encourage the Pay-it-Forward philosophy.
5. Stop cursing, start blessing.
6. Return all calls, emails and attempts to reach you.
7. Never be “too busy” to listen.
8. Network with the idea that you can connect others.
9. Realize that not all networking connections are going to be beneficial – yet.
10. Keep you motives straight and your attitude up.

Yes, his themes are very similar to mine (makes sense, since we are married), but he has given practical tips on how to pay-it-forward in business.

Regardless of whether you are paying-it-forward in your personal life or business, you will be surprised at how many blessings you receive just by being a blessing to others.  My neighbor without the car – despite our different backgrounds, she’s from Syria, I’m from the States, we have become great friends and spent hours sharing life stories.  The family who stayed with us – again, we have become lifelong friends.  Our families look forward to sharing time together whether here in Raleigh, North Carolina or there in Milan, Italy.  We are blessed.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to pay-it-forward.

The story of The Rope may be familiar to you.  It has circulated around email for quite some time.  But, as I read it again the other day it made me think of the “ropes” in my life.  Click on the link www.ticz.com/homes/users/bob/The-Rope/The-Rope.htm and as you read the story think about your own “ropes”.

What are you holding on to for dear life, even against the counsel of others?  Could it be that the thing you are refusing to let go of is the very thing that is holding you back?

Choose a Better Life by letting go of your rope.

Everything we do in life comes with risk.  Whether I’m driving my daughter to school or reaching out to meet my neighbors or stepping into a new leadership role, everything I do comes with some measure of risk.  So, why is it that we so often fear taking risks?

There are a few of us thrill-seekers who enjoy taking risks, at least in some area of our lives, but most people become fearful and anxious when they think of stepping out of their comfort zone and doing something different.  Hearts begin to race, palms become sweaty and emotions well up.  Taking risks scare us.

I believe it is because we buy into Webster’s definition of risk.  It says risk is the “exposure to the chance of injury or loss; danger.”  By that definition risk is negative.

But, what Webster’s doesn’t include, and what we often forget, is that risk offers a tremendous payoff.  The satisfaction and growth we can get out of taking a risk, whether or not we achieve “success,” can be tremendous.

Take for example, the single mom who goes back to school to finish her degree so she can pursue a better career that offers more stability for herself and her family.  Big risk.  Big potential payoff.

Or my friend Paul who got his degree in accounting only to discover his passions lay elsewhere – in entertaining people.  In 1999 he wrote and rehearsed a one-man variety arts show and founded Flow Circus (www.flowcircus.com) to fulfill the mission of promoting life-long learning and play through the Variety Arts.  He has been performing ever since and he loves it.   Big risk.  Big payoff.

Taking risks does not come without, well … taking risk.  On some level you must be willing to sacrifice one thing for another.  And in most cases, the thing sacrificed is comfort.  When our lives get into a routine we tend to get comfortable.  Changing any part of it means we risk losing that comfort.

In my case, I have sacrificed a “regular” “stable” job to pursue my career of passion.  As such, I find things along the way that I need to tweak and I sometimes stumble over mistakes.  But, by pursuing my passions and following what I am called to do I also discover that I am stronger and more capable than I thought. I am also constantly growing in new ways and experiencing joy like never before.  This makes me a better wife, mom, friend and leader.  And, it provides me the opportunity to positively impact the lives of people I come in contact with – my ultimate goal.

Along those lines, you will see changes made to my website over the next several weeks.  I will be adding more static information about my speaking ministry, my employability workshops and other endeavors in which I am involved.  I will also be adding the opportunity to sign up for my newsletter as well as opportunities to join my prayer team.  If you have questions, suggestions or would like to help me further develop my site please feel free to contact me at Stephanie@chooseabetterlife.net or leave a comment on this blog.  I am looking forward to what is to come.

How about you?  What do you need to risk to Choose a Better Life?