A poem I carry in my planner:

State of Mind

If you think you are beaten, you are;
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but think you can’t,
It’s almost a cinch you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost;
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow’s will;
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you’re out classed, you are;
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself
Before you can win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man;
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

Author Unknown

Recently I’ve talked to several people who are, for one reason or another, unhappy with their work situation. A few are unemployed, but most have a job. They are just unhappy in their current position.

As people have shared their frustrations, I come back to the same question, “What are you doing to change the situation?” Sometimes this question angers people because most of us want to live under the illusion that we are victims of our circumstances. That is not the case. We always have a choice in how we respond to our situation.

In the case of employment, there are always avenues we can take to seek change, the least of which is looking for another position. The new position can be in the same company or another company. It can be in the same field or a completely different field of work. It can be a lateral move or a horizontal one. There are lots of options.

As I have counseled many people through career transition and have gone through career transition myself, there are a few basic steps that should be taken when a career change is sought. (These are in addition to those stated in the post A Decision to Decide.)

Tell people you are looking - One of the hardest things for a job seeker is to let people know you are looking for work. For some reason, we often feel that if we are looking for work there is something wrong with us. This is definitely not the case. At some point everyone who is working was looking for a job and most will again be looking for work at some point in their careers. Granted, this can be tricky if you are currently employed and you don’t want to “rock the boat.” My advice is that you find a handful of people you trust with whom to share your search.

Network – Along with telling people you are looking, you need to network. Most jobs are not advertised in the papers or online. Most positions are filled through people knowing people.

Networking is a great way to meet people who know people who know people who are hiring. A referral from an associate carries much more weight than a blind answer to an ad.

And with online social networking sites like www.LinkedIn.com (my personal favorite) you can literally network around the world from the comfort of your own home. However, a caution, don’t rely solely on online networking sites; there is still great value in the face-to-face meeting.

Informational interviews – If you are interested in a specific field of work, find an expert in that field (or several), buy him a cup of coffee and “pick his brain.” Find out how he broke into that line of work and what skills are important for success. Make connections between what you are currently doing and how you can be successful in the expert’s line of work.

Informational interviews are also great for learning new skills. For example, I have never been one to love sales. However, because there is a sales component to my career (I need to “sell” my training and workshops) I am meeting with several sales experts to get direction and gain a better understanding of sales techniques. By doing so, I am enhancing what I already do.

Seek mentorship – Just as informational interviews can provide you with great information, a mentor in your desired field can give you specific direction. This is especially important if you are new to the field. A mentor often provides tips on best practices based on his own success and/or failures. This type of direct training is invaluable.

Take a class – Once you start your informational interviews you may find that you need to take a class of some sort to learn or refresh your skills. For some, this could be a computer course or a technical course. For others, this can be something fun. For example, I recently started an improv class at a local comedy club. The class is wonderful because it gets me out of my comfort zone and is training my mind to stay in the moment and to approach issues from a completely different perspective.

Find a support group – I am not necessarily recommending an employment support group, although those have great value. What I am referring to is a group of 3-5 individuals whom you trust and admire. Individuals from different disciplines, but who are all doing what they do well. What this group does is encourages its members to take the next step towards success while holding each other accountable to do so. The group also becomes a “think tank” for creative ideas and solutions.

Whether you are changing your career out of necessity or desire to follow your passions, having a plan and enlisting the help of others is invaluable.

Choose a Better Life by stepping out of your comfort zone and taking action.

This was recently sent to me in an email.  I hope you enjoy it and think about where you can use all of the following phrases.

THE POWER OF THREE LITTLE WORDS

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often
come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the
power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships
that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I’LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can
give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to
them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored
emotionally and spiritually. ‘Being there’ is at the very, very core of
civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if
couples simply and sincerely said to each other, “I miss you.” This powerful
affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the
feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm
the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an
argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of “maybe you’re
right” is the humility of admitting “maybe I’m wrong.”

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed
if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are
vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to
own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that
he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy
the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily
courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many
expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends
is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - “A friend is one who walks in when others walk out.” “Loyalty
is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue
that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be
steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there,
indicating “you can count on me.”

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they
spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they
pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they
feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in
so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most
powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique
projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests.
Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness -
everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be
reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

– Author Unknown

In my last post I shared that I am sick.  What I didn’t say is that I’ve been sick for over a month.  The doctors don’t seem to know exactly what is wrong, but think it may be “micro pneumonia” so I’ve been put on a few different medications.  In the process of eating poorly (bad-for-you, comfort foods is all I’ve been eating) and taking the medications I have again been having problems with Candida – something I had under control for the last year.

As a direct result of all of this, I am unable to do much.  Not only do I feel horrible, but I am very little energy and I am suffering from vertigo so even walking a straight line is a challenge at the moment.

The reason I’m sharing this is because last night my husband made a comment that struck me to the core.  He said, “You are beginning to sound like Eeyore.”  Eeyore is the Winnie the Pooh character who is always down and sees everything in life as a struggle.  Eeyore is exactly the opposite of what I aspire to be.

So, as I lay in bed last night I thought about my situation.  It is true that I cannot do what I want to do at the moment.  I can’t work, I can’t exercise, I can’t meet with friends.  I can’t even organize my house without falling prey to a coughing attack and major weakness.  But, I can control my attitude and that is more important than anything else I could possibly do.

So, I’ve decided that today I am going to focus on the good.  I have the opportunity to catch up on the reading I never have time for, write the letters that are long overdo and give my dogs some additional attention.  All things that can be done from the comfort of my couch.  And when I get tired I’ll just take a nap.  No agendas, no pressure.  And most importantly NO EEYORE!

Are there areas in your life where you are beginning to sound like Eeyore – defeated and depressed?  If so, acknowledge what is making you feel bad then let it go.  Choose to focus on what you can do in the situation and let the other stuff fade away.  Even if your options are limited, you can always choose your attitude.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to let go of Eeyore and finding a positive focus.

Hi Everyone.  This is just a quick note to let you know I will not be posting today.  I am fairly ill and need a few down days of recovery time.  I do, however, hope to be back up and running on Friday.

In the meantime, remember you always have a choice over your actions and reactions so decide now to Choose a Better Life.

In January 1^st post I posed a question to you that my husband had asked of me and said I’d share my answer with you.

The question: “If you could only achieve one thing in 2008 what would it be?”

My answer is simple: The one thing I most want to do in 2008 is to impact the lives of people through my speaking engagements, my blog, my assessments and my employability workshops.  Everything else, as the saying goes, is gravy.

I know beyond a shadow of doubt that while I am on this Earth I am to share my story, my experiences and my skills and talents to encourage others in their own journeys.  As long as I am doing this, I experience rewards beyond imagination.

As I said in Tuesday’s post, this answer is what I use to shape my priorities.  As opportunities present themselves to me I simply ask if they fit my vision for fulfilling the above.  If not, I graciously decline the opportunity.  If so, I commit and offer 100% of my effort to seeing the opportunity come to fruition.

By checking opportunities against my priorities I remove the pressure to accept every offer that is given me.  I know what I am to be doing and as long as I am faithful to that calling I can leave the rest to others.  No pressure.  No guilt.

What are your priorities for 2008?  Have you answered the question - If you could only achieve one thing in 2008 what would it be?

Choose a Better Life by taking the time to discern what you are called to do this year.  Then follow that calling and set your priorities accordingly.

It’s hard to believe today is the first day of 2008, but I’m excited to see what great things are in store for this coming year.  I hope you are too.

Many people take this time of year to set New Year’s Resolutions.  I’ve never been a big fan of resolutions, but I am a proponent of goals and priorities – whether they are set at the beginning of the year or throughout.  That being said, January 1^st brings a unique opportunity to reflect on the previous year as you plan for the coming one.

A few thoughts to help you get started:

Celebrate the good.  As you look back on 2007 remember all the good things that happened throughout the year and celebrate them.  Even for those of us who had struggles to overcome, there are always God-sightings, places where we can find joy in the midst of the darkness – a smile from a loved one, a word of encouragement from a friend, a step taken toward achieving a goal, a new business relationship, etc.  Think back to those times, be thankful for them and celebrate.

Prioritize your time.  We are always presented with more opportunities than we have time to take advantage of.  It’s when we try to do them all that we run into trouble – we become over-stretched, overburdened and overwhelmed.  This year, commit to doing less, better.  Pick the few things that align with your priorities and do them well.  Say, “No” to the rest.

To help pick you priorities answer this question, “If you could only achieve one thing in 2008 what would it be?”  My husband asked me this question a week or so ago and I had to give it a lot of thought.  (I will share my answer in a later post, but know it is shaping my list of priorities.)

Schedule time for yourself – every quarter.  I’ve shared about the personal retreat I went on last October – five days at the beach with just myself, God, my Bible, my journal, my laptop and a great book.  I don’t know that I’ll be able to take such an extensive time each quarter, but I understand the vital role time to myself plays in my mental sanity and as such scheduling this time is a MUST.  You need to do the same.  Time for yourself makes you a better spouse, parent, friend, co-worker and partner.

Schedule time for your friends and family.  With all the craziness in our lives we often take our friends and family for granted.  Unfortunately, it is not until we move away or lose a loved one that we realize how much we miss them.  Make sacrifices where necessary to ensure you have time with those you love.  Your quality of life will improve with every minute.

Renew old acquaintances.  Is there a friend you’ve lost touch with?  A mentor who impacted your life?  An old co-worker you learned from?  Find five people you want to get in touch with and contact them.  Tell them of their importance in your life and thank them for taking the time to make an impact.

Pay it forward. Look for ways you can bless someone else without expecting anything in return.  When asked how you can be repaid, simply say, “Pay it forward.”  As you bless others you will receive joy by watching the ripple effect of blessing pour forward.

Most of all, expect great things in 2008!  Remember, your actions are dictated by your beliefs.  So if you believe great things are coming your way you will act accordingly and open the door for abundance.

Choose a Better Life in 2008.