Recently a few girlfriends and I have been in similar situations, albeit, they are created by different circumstances.  All of us are exhausted and worn out because we have been wrestling with “issues.”  And not just everyday issues like who is in charge of carpool this week, but bigger issues that drain your emotional and physical energy.

As we’ve committed to seeing each situation through, we’ve shared our hearts, prayed for one another and looked for the “hidden blessings.”  We’ve made conscious decisions to bless instead of curse in each situation regardless of how we feel at the moment.  And sometimes we feel so blue that it takes every effort to put one foot in front of the other and keep going.  But that is exactly what we must do.

Amazingly, as we’ve stayed committed to blessing, things have begun to change.  Our situations are not different.  Quite the contrary, for some the circumstances have become even more intense.  But, each of us can say that our hearts, our attitudes and our outlooks have gotten much better.  The gloominess of the problem is parting and the sunshine of hope is breaking through.

Even this morning one of my friends shared that a hug from her son lifted her spirits to new heights and she felt strengthen for the day.  The hug from her son did not change the issue she is facing, but because she has chosen not to wallow in self-pity and utter curses out of frustration, she is much more open to seeing and embracing the little things that bring her joy.  It is this joy that propels her forward.

We all face challenges, sometimes they are more extreme than others, but it is our choice how we respond to them.  Choose a Better Life by opening your heart, giving blessings and putting one foot in front of the other despite your circumstances.

As you know, a few days ago was Valentine‘s Day.  My husband took me to lunch at a nearby country club.  We had a great view of the golf course, the food was wonderful and our time will be treasured.  Aside from getting away with my husband, one thing that really stood out to me was an older couple sitting a few tables away.

I’m not the best at guessing age, but I say this couple was in their 70s.  They did not speak English, but that did not keep me from gazing over at them and “eavesdropping.”

The love and pride they have for each other obvious.  Although I could not understand their words, there was no doubt they were verbally caressing each other. They both smiled as they talked and very rarely dropped eye contact.

I watched as the husband gently reached across the table grabbed his wife’s hand and gave her a gently squeeze.  They let go only when dessert was brought to the table and placed between them for them to share.

As thoughts of this couple has entered my mind over the past several days I couldn’t help but think that this is but a glimpse of God’s love for us.  God invites us to join him at his feast and when we do, his eyes lock on ours as he reaches across the table to hold our hand.  Love and pride gush from his eyes as he speaks gently with words that only our hearts understand.

It was a privilege to sit near this couple on Valentine’s Day and to bask in the love they have for one another.  And I’m immeasurably thankful for their reminder that the Creator of the Universe is that in love with me.

Choose a Better Life by opening your heart to the One whose love for you is beyond measure.

I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your comments and feedback.  Your encouragement is invaluable to me as I stay committed to this blog and share practical ways you can Choose a Better Life.

Now, I want to hear from you.  Do you have a CABL story that you are willing to share?

Have you been in a difficult situation where you took the opportunity to choose a good attitude and Choose a Better Life?

Do you have an example of how you blessed others when your first thought was to curse them instead?  How did this impact your day?

Have you received healing through forgiveness?  How did you get to that point?

Have you had a God-sighting in an unexpected place?  What was it and how did it encourage you?

Have you chosen to pursue your passions at work?  What steps did you take to get there?

If you can answer yes to any of the above, email me your story.  You can contact me at either Stephanie@chooseabetterlife.net or stephaniehester@gmail.com.

I will be collecting stories over the few weeks and publishing several of them on the blog.  At the end of March I will choose one entrant to receive a surprise item from the CABL store.

I am looking forward to hearing your stories!!!

Often when we set a goal for ourselves we do so with gusto, expecting nothing to stand in our way of achieving it.  But, as we pursue that goal sometimes we run into unexpected obstacles that we allow to stop us in our tracks.  Other times the monotony of daily living just simply wears us down and we let go of the goal we had wanted to achieve.

Very few of us pursue our goals with the fervent passion required to reach them without looking back or getting distracted.  Most of us start with good intentions, but lose steam when the stresses of life (a sick child, a less-than-supportive spouse, a micromanaging boss, financial concerns, etc) pressure us.

Instead of getting discouraged, I challenge you to start fresh.  Just because you’ve stopped working towards a goal does not mean the goal no longer exists.  Somewhere inside you the desire that moved you to set the goal originally is still there.  You just need to regroup, revisit the passion and begin again.  The only thing that is stopping you is you.

The pressures of life will always exist.   None of us are exempt from them.  But, each of us has a choice to how we respond to them.  You have the power to choose whether or not these pressures derail you from pursuing your goal or make you more determined to reach it.

This choice is one I had to make recently.  Because I was so very ill a few years ago I value good health like never before.  But in order for me to remain healthy certain things must be a priority for me.  I must eat well, avoiding gluten, dairy and sugar.  I must exercise regularly.  And I must get enough sleep.  Easy enough, right?  Wrong.

Several months ago I began letting some of my routines slip.  First, I stopped taking my supplements three times a day.  Then I let time pressures squeeze out my exercise routine.  A few months later I began sampling foods that I know are not good for me.  Before I knew it some of my Fibromyalgia symptoms were returning.

The more the Fibromyalgia symptoms returned the worse I felt and the less motivated I was to make a change.  And in the middle of this was when I came down with micro pneumonia.

I had a choice to make.  I could continue to feel bad and let my circumstances (fatigue, arthritis-like pain, all-over achyness, foggy thinking, etc.) dictate my quality of life or I could decide to start fresh… to go back to my original health plan where I would have to start over.

I choose to start over and I am so thankful I did.  As with everything, this is a process.  It will take time for me to get back into full swing of a completely healthy lifestyle, but I am already seeing improvements in the way my body functions.

Are you like me?  Do you have a goal for which you need to start over?  Have you let the pressures of life thwart your momentum?  Choose a Better Life by choosing to start fresh.  There is no reason why you shouldn’t.

I don’t usually do this, but today I am going to use my post to highlight a friend of mine, Ryan Allis.  He is an amazing guy, who at age 23 has not only built a $10 million company, but has developed a heart for truly changing the world – a passion I also share.

Today his book, Zero to One Million published by McGraw-Hill, launches.  He is using this book not to make money, but to share knowledge and to raise funds to help end world poverty.  I will let him share in his own words …

While I am optimistic, I am distressed by the state our world is in today. I am distressed by two simple facts…

First, while we have prosperity and opulence in many parts of our world–49,000 humans, people just like you and me, die each and every day from starvation and preventable diseases like malaria, tuberculosis, AIDS, and diarrhea. Second, while we live in comfort, 2.7 billion humans live on under $2 per day.

These numbers are Purchase Power Parity (PPP) adjusted–meaning that 42% of the humans in our world must live a FULL day on the same $2 that you and I would use to buy half a latte at Starbucks. These facts come from the World Bank and the World Health Organization, respectively.

When I learned these facts in Economics class at Manatee High School at age 17 from an inspirational teacher Robert Fletcher, I couldn’t ever afterwards pretend as if “I didn’t know.”

I’ve read a lot over the past six years about the topic of human poverty, global politics, and economics–inspirational books like The End of Poverty, The White Man’s Burden, How to Change the World, The Bottom Billion, Globalization and Its Discontents, The Lexus & The Olive Tree, The Road to Serfdom, Atlas Shrugged, Confessions of an Economic Hitman, The Secret History of The American Empire, The Fortune at The Bottom of the Pyramid, and The Mystery of Capital.

I’ve come to one singular conclusion…

I am going to dedicate the rest of my life to reduce poverty and hunger and increase access to education, healthcare, technology, and entrepreneurial opportunity here at home in North Carolina and the U.S. as well as in developing countries. This is not charity–this is humanity. We will never have a secure world when half of our brothers and sisters do not have access to basic human needs like shelter, food, primary education, and preventative medicine.

Personally, I believe entrepreneurship is an essential part of the solution–commercial entrepreneurship, public sector entrepreneurship, and social entrepreneurship.

But being an entrepreneur is NOT easy. The knowledge of how to build a successful organization isn’t easily learned.

Building a new ’start-up’ of any type whether a non-profit or for-profit is definitely not simple. I’m only 23 and I feel sometimes like I have developed the scar tissue of a 45 year-old building iContact to $10 million in annual sales.

It’s truly been an absolute bliss to come in every morning and know that I’ve played a big role in creating 85 jobs. I get so much energy from being around our team. Being an entrepreneur is truly my passion. I love it, but the experience is what I can only imagine raising a real child would be like. What one has to sacrifice, to give, to devote to the effort is immense. I never thought it would be THIS hard when I started six years ago.

What I can say is that I’ve learned so much more than I could have ever imagined.

I want to share everything I’ve learned about business, about opportunity evaluation, about raising venture capital, about product development, about marketing, about sales, about finance, about managing people, about creating systems with as many entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs as I possibly can–and not just commercial entrepreneurs, but social entrepreneurs, corporate entrepreneurs, and public service entrepreneurs in every part of our world.

Writing this book for me is part of spreading a message of entrepreneurial possibility and social change.

I believe that every person in this world should have access to the knowledge of how to be an entrepreneur.

I believe that anyone in this world should be able to become a successful business, social, or public service entrepreneur–if they set their mind to it and have the right tools.

I also believe that IF the knowledge was spread far enough and the financial structures existed in our global society for anyone regardless of location or class to become a successful entrepreneur–our world would have the entrepreneurial talent at the grassroots level to address the biggest challenges of our generation–how to eliminate extreme poverty, get food to the hungry, medicines to the sick, and microcredit financial resources to the ambitious youth of our generation–so that they can productively solve the needs of humanity with their talents, not fight in political or religious wars driven by a lack of hope.

This is why I wrote Zero to One Million: How I Built A Company to One Million Dollars in Sales… And How You Can Too.

It’s not to make money–all the proceeds from the book are being donated to my non-profit organization, The Humanity Campaign, which works to reduce poverty and hunger by increasing access to education, healthcare, technology, and entrepreneurial opportunity.

This Tuesday, February 5th, is the big push day that we are trying to become #1 on Amazon. If we can sell 2,500 copies of the book on Tuesday we should make it to #1. If by chance you have an opportunity to spread the word about the book after Tuesday, please do. We are also working to sell 12,000 copies during the first full week so that we can make it on the New York Times Bestseller list for the week.

For everyone, would you mark your calendar and buy a copy or multiple copies of the book yourself this Tuesday morning as well as spread the word? The book costs just $11.53 on Amazon and I’ll email you $750 worth of gifts if you email your receipt to bonus@zeromillion.com.

When you buy Zero to One Million on Amazon on Tuesday I’ll send you six bonus gifts including a video from me on how to raise $5 million in venture capital at age 22 and valuable DVD and PDF report bonuses from Buck Rizvi, Derek Gehl, Carlos Garcia, Shawn Casey, and Tom Bell. Just email the Amazon receipt to bonus@zeromillion.com to receive the bonuses.

If you want to buy multiple copies for your friends, company, or local libraries–I am providing additional bonuses. If you buy five copies you’ll receive a video from me on how to access the world of institutional capital. If you buy 25 copies you’ll receive a signed copy of the original version of the book. If you buy 50 copies you’ll get a 15 minute strategy phone call with me. If you buy 250 copies I’ll invite you to visit me on-site in Durham for a day-long mastermind strategy session with the other large buyers. If you buy 500 copies, I’ll invite you to join my mastermind group of millionaire entrepreneurs for a quarterly meeting.

Thank you very, very much for your help and assistance. I sincerely appreciate your help and look forward to working with you for many decades to change the world together. Please let me know if you have any questions or if I can be of any assistance whatsoever to you now or in the future.

You can buy the book starting 12:01am on Tuesday at http://www.amazon.com/Zero-One-Million-Built-Company/dp/0071496661/. I will post a reminder here on Tuesday morning.

Love, hope, peace, prosperity…

Cheers,
/RPMA
Ryan P. Allis

“There can be no friendship where there is no freedom.  Friendship loves a free air, and will not be fenced up in straight and narrow enclosures.” 

William Penn

I have been blessed with several dear friends throughout my life.  At this very moment I can pick up the phone and call on any one of several women knowing they will laugh with me, cry with me, pray for me or support me in whatever way I need.  I know this is not the case with everyone and I don’t take my dear girlfriends for granted.  I treasure them and pray for them often.

In fact, as soon as I knew I was moving to Raleigh, NC I began praying for kindred spirits, special girlfriends.  I didn’t know anyone in Raleigh, but I knew I needed a friend, or two, with whom I could be completely open and honest.  I needed a friend who would love me for me and not judge my actions or decisions.  I also needed that friend to love me enough to be willing to hold me accountable and “call me on the carpet” when I need it.

My treasured girlfriends are ones who give me the freedom to be myself, good qualities and bad.  They listen to my heart’s cries and don’t try to change them or “fix” them.  They don’t tell me I’m wrong for feeling a certain way because they understand feelings are neither right or wrong, they are feelings.  When the time is right, they do, however, help me to see that sometimes my perceptions are wrong and those wrong perceptions may lead to unnecessary pain or wrong thinking.

But mostly, my kindred spirits just love me and allow me to love them in return.  This is the freedom William Penn talks about in his quote.  And friendship thrives in freedom.

Are you giving your friends the freedom to be their authentic selves?  Do you feel the freedom to drop your walls and take off your masks with others?  Most of us have been hurt along the way so authenticity can be frightening at first.  If that is true of you, pick one person with whom you feel safe and share your heart.  You may be surprised by their response.

A few days ago a girlfriend said to me, “Stephanie, because you were so open with me the first time we met, I knew it was okay for me to be open with you too.”  This friendship has blossomed since then and I truly count this woman among the great blessings in my life.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to be authentic with others understanding that authenticity doesn’t require you to divulge your deepest pains or darkest secrets with everyone you meet.  But, by removing your masks and being “real” you will know when you are in the presence of a kindred spirit.