April is national humor month.

I recently read that children laugh 300 to 400 times a day.  Adults, however, laugh on average, only 15 times a day.  Why is that?  I’m sure it can be argued that adults are under more pressure and stress than kids.  (Although, spend a day with any teenager and you will find that they are under a great deal of pressure and stress too.)

I wonder at what age we begin to stop laughing.  Is it in middle school when peer pressure starts to intensify?  Is it in high school when we begin to feel the weight on the world on our shoulders?  Do we stop laughing in college when the pressures of career choices become reality?  Or does it just simply happen over time?

I don’t know the answer to those questions, but I think the more important question is, why don’t we laugh more now?  Aside from the health benefits of laughter – it reduces stress, increases endorphins, burns calories, etc. – laughter is just plain fun.

In my home we laugh and giggle a lot.  We enjoy jokes, laugh when we play with our dogs, laugh when we play board games, tell stories and laugh with friends.  As a family we eat dinner together 6 times a week and laugh at each meal.  We work hard at building laughter into our lives.

I love watching tears seep out of my husband’s eyes when he is laughing so hard he can’t talk.  My daughter … she’s a snorter.  She tries to control her laugh, but when she is really cracking-up she begins to snort, which only makes her laugh harder.

As for me, I’ve got a unique laugh.  I’ve been compared to windshield wipers, a hyena, and numerous other things.  When I laugh in public I get quite an array of responses.  Sometimes people look away as if they don’t want to “catch” what is going on, sometimes they move to other tables, but mostly they can’t help themselves and they end up laughing too.  (I have actually had a waiter put a paper bag over my head in hopes it would help calm me down – I have a picture to prove it.)

But as unique as my laugh is, I wasn’t aware of it until after I went to college.  I don’t remember laughing much as a kid and I don’t ever recall seeing my parents laugh.  Laughter was just not valued in my family’s household and it was not a part of my growing up years.  Maybe that is why I love it so much as an adult … I am making up for years of not having heard my own laugh.

Whatever the reason, I love to laugh and I love to hear other people laugh.  Laughter eases hurts, relieves tension and sets the stage for a great day.  Ultimately, laughter is a small way of spreading cheer.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to laugh.  Laugh with others, laugh by yourself and laugh at yourself.  Life is much too short to live it grumpy..

Today, Good Friday, represents a day of great sacrifice.  Today is the day my Savior set aside His desires and took on the pain and anguish that was meant for me so that I could have a better life, both here on Earth and for eternity.  Although we may never appreciate the magnitude of Jesus’ sacrifice, regardless of our faith, I think we can understand that a great sacrifice was made.

So, as I’ve been pondering that thought I’ve begun to wonder what sacrifices I’ve made for the people I love and value.  When have I put aside my desires for the benefit of someone else?

How often have I really sacrificed something of great value to me?  I have yet to give my wardrobe to someone in need.  Yes, I have given bags of clothing to the local homeless shelter, but if I’m honest, the clothes I give away are not my “best” clothes or the ones I like the most.

I have never sold my home and given the profits to a homeless family.  I have not turned my job over to someone who is unemployed.  And I have never given someone free access to my bank account so they could buy food and supplies.

Thankfully, most of us will never be called to make “big” sacrifices like those above or be asked lay down our lives for a loved one, but we have the opportunity to sacrifice ourselves nearly every day.

When I choose to run an errand for a friend instead of finishing the project I’m working on, I give my friend the sacrifice of my time.  When I choose to have my daughter’s room painted instead of investing in a piece of furniture for myself I give her a sacrifice of my desires.  When I choose to give a friend a gift of money instead of going to the movies I am offering her a sacrifice of my finances.

Thankfully, I have the ability to offer these “do-able” sacrifices to the people I value, and sometimes, to people I don’t even know.  And although these sacrifices pale in comparison to the One that was given for me, I am glad I have the opportunity to give, to show other people how special they are.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to sacrifice something of value for someone you treasure.  It’s a tangible way to give the gift of love.

Recently several people have asked me about the specific ways I choose to bless instead of curse. I have trained myself to bless people and things that are important to me every day. Some days I am a little less focused than others, but I try to make blessing a natural part of my daily life.

(In regards to blessing other drivers (especially when they irritate me) see my post titled Blessing Road Rage.)

One of the many areas I’ve reaped the rewards of blessing is in my finances. As I’ve shared before, my husband and I had a successful consulting business several years back. Due to a joint venture that went bad, we lost everything – our business, our money, our home. As a direct result, we ended up with enormous debt in the form of back taxes and credit cards.

For several years there seemed to be no way out of the huge financial hole we were in. We were effectively unemployed for three years and once we did obtain employment we were living, like most people, paycheck to paycheck. There was nothing “extra” to save or put towards our debt.

About a year ago I decided to change my outlook on our finances. Instead of looking at our income as barely meeting our needs, I decided to bless our income and rejoice that our needs were being met. So, I began declaring blessing over our finances. Each day I verbally repeat something similar to this …

I bless our finances. I bless our desire to get out of debt and our ability to do so. I bless our desire to be disciplined with our spending and our ability to make the best choices. I also bless our jobs that provide for our needs. In regards to our finances, I claim God’s promise to do immeasurably more than I ask or imagine. I bless our ability to generate enough income to give to those around us who are in need and therefore, be a blessing in their lives.

After I bless our finances, I go on to bless many other things, our relationships, our neighborhood, the specifics of our jobs, our daughters’ relationships and their school days, our friends and their families … anything that comes to mind.

And besides adjusting my attitude and setting the stage for a great day, I’ve seen amazing rewards come from my blessings. Relationships have been formed and strengthened, obstacles overcome and business deals come to fruition.

But, one of the most tangible results has been in the area of our finances. We still have back taxes we are paying off, but over the next few weeks we will have paid off all our credit debt and my husband’s car! Remember, we had so much debt that I couldn’t see how it could be paid off in our lifetime. So, having the ability to pay off all our credit cards and the car is truly amazing and I am incredibly thankful.

I need to be clear. I am not saying that just by repeating a blessing your problems will disappear. But, I am confident that God has given us the authority to speak with power. When we do, we can claim victory in our situations and lives

Choose a Better Life by choosing to speak powerful blessings over your life and those you care for. As a result you will be, need I say, blessed.

This is an activity I do in some of my workshops…

As participants walk into the room they notice that each person’s space is set up with a number of items.  The one that always seems to grab their attention first is the lemon.

I ask each participant to take a few minutes to “get to know their lemon” … to look their lemon over and become familiar with it.  Then I collect the lemons and randomly arrange them on a table in the front of the room.  At this point I ask all the participants, usually between 25-40, to come to the front of the room and find their original lemon.

Surprisingly, most people are successful in finding their lemon.

My point in this simple activity is that at first glance all lemons look alike, but when you take a few minutes to really look at the lemon you see differences and nuances that are unique to the individual lemon.  AND, in addition to being unique, each lemon can be successful in its “job” … in my scenario making lemonade.

People are the similar to lemons. (No, we are not sour.)   At first glance we look alike, but when you get to know each of us we are unique individuals with our own style and ways of doing things.  However, we each have the same potential to be successful in whatever we set our minds to.

One of my favorite quotes is by St. Francis de Sales.  He said, “Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly.”  In other words, don’t look at someone else and wish you were more like them.  You’ve been given a wonderful set of characteristics and qualities that make you unique.

Embrace your individuality and celebrate what makes you unique.  Then know that with determination you can achieve whatever you set your mind to.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to believe that your uniqueness sets you apart for success.

I am a member of the Business Alliance at my daughter’s middle school.  As an alliance it is our pleasure to help narrow the gap between the business community and the students.  One of the activities we provide is an annual Career Day in which we bring in people representing a variety of careers.

This year we were blessed with 53 speakers representing 53 different careers: everything from Crime Scene Investigators, to Reporters, to Mechanics to Fashion Designers.  The keynote speaker was Ryan Allis, the 23-year old entrepreneur and CEO of iContact.

At the last minute I was asked to fill in for a speaker who was not able to attend the event due to a family emergency.  Happily I agreed to talk with two groups of 6^th graders about what I do.  To keep it simple, I told them I was a Corporate Trainer who is paid to play games.

Since I was dong this off-the-cuff I did not have any materials or props so I decided to have the students play some of the games I use in my workshops.  Although I expected a little bit of resistance, I was taken aback by the number of students who were afraid to drop their guard and have fun.

I realized that middle school is about the time people start putting up walls.  By age 11 we are very aware of cliques so we try to shore-up our hearts to protect ourselves from rejection.

The more I thought about this the more I realized that for most people, those middle school walls never come down.  We often move into adulthood with the same fears of rejection and so instead of tearing down our walls we make them even stronger.

Before long we are living in our own fortress determined not to let anyone get to close or see the “real me.”  As a direct result, we often miss out on some of life’s greatest opportunities to have fun because we are afraid of what people might think.

I am a huge proponent of games, not only in my workshops, but in life.  In my workshops I use fun, silly games as a way to get everyone on the same page … to give people the opportunity to realize that regardless of title, we are all the same. … to begin breaking down the walls so they will be open to one another.

In our home, we use games the same way.  We have family night where we turn off the TV and just spend time together playing games.  My husband collects Monopolies so we are often playing one version or another.  (My favorite is the Rudolph edition.)  What we’ve found is that whether we are playing just as a family or have included friends we always have a great time.  We smile, laugh and talk about a number of things that would otherwise not come up.

By being willing to do something that can be seen as “silly” or “childish” we open the door for communication and bonding; two things that are crucial to our personal development.

Whether you are at home with family and friends or out in public, Choose a Better Life by breaking down the barriers and just have fun.  Your life and your relationships will be enriched.  And I guarantee the majority of people who look your way will not be judging you, but will be wishing they had enough courage to do what you are doing.