I was hoping to write something inspiring and wonderfully encouraging today, but alas, here it is the end of the day and I’m still looking at a blank screen.  Nothing is coming to mind and the more I try to “trigger” something the stronger my writer’s block seems to be.

Isn’t this sometimes true of life?  The harder we strain for something the farther away it seems to get.  The irony here is that the more we want something the more we just need to relax and let it happen.  Of course we must do our due diligence and prepare, but after we have done all we can do, we must just sit back and relax.  We need to stop straining and trying to force a situation and just let it come to fruition.

Interestingly I’m having this very discussion with my daughter right now.  She will be auditioning for both an advanced drama troupe and an advanced girls’ choir next week.  She desperately wants to “make it” into both groups, but with no formal training in either area, she may find she is better suited for the “general” ensembles.  I hope that is not the case.  I hope that she knocks ‘em dead next week and is brilliant in her auditions.  But, if she is not, she needs to welcome the results, learn as much as she can from the groups in which she is placed and try again next year.

This is a lesson that is most difficult to learn, not only for my teen daughter, but also for us as adults.  We want what we want and we don’t want to settle for less.  I am all for setting lofty goals and striving to reach them – I believe there is great value in shooting for the stars and I do it most of the time – but in doing so, we must not overlook the value that comes from interim steps.  When we don’t reach our goals we must embrace where we are and learn as much from our situation as possible.  That way, the next time we shoot for the stars we will be better equipped to reach them.

Choose a Better Life by reaching for the stars, embracing the learning that happens along the way, and relaxing and letting situations unfold by themselves.

This past weekend I was honored to share part of my story with a group of 70 women at a retreat.  I was slotted to speak Sunday morning after Friday night, Saturday morning and Saturday night festivities.

As the weekend went on, I had the opportunity to talk with many women whom I’d never met before.  I had a great time getting to know new people and sharing this weekend with them.

On Saturday afternoon I was able to spend several hours with a new girlfriend.  As we talked we both confessed that we had come to this retreat with a great deal of expectations.  And right away it was evident those expectations would not be met.

My new friend admitted that by the end of the first evening she was angry and grumpy.  “What do you mean there is no … [fill in the blank]?”  “How can a retreat be put together without … [again, fill in the blank]?”

We both had similar expectations and we both had been a bit disappointed.  However, thankfully, we both realized that our expectations were getting in the way of our blessings.  We realized that because we had both come with a preconceived idea of what was to happen, we were not able to see beyond those expectations at all the wonderful things that were going on around us.

We both came to our senses early on and were able to enjoy the weekend.  But, this experience made me realize just how often we let our own expectations get in the way of our blessings.

When we enter a situation with expectations we are, in essence, saying, because of who I am (or who I think I am), I have needs (real or perceived) and you need to meet them.  If/when those needs are not met we become indignant and put up walls.  Those walls block us from any good thing that may be happening around, or to, us.

We tend to carry expectations with us when we attend events, go on vacations, travel for business, attend meetings, make presentations, buy new items, etc.  Without our even being aware of them, expectations follow us everywhere.

One area expectations seem to be the strongest, and tend to do the most damage is in our relationships.  Whatever the relationship - spouse, friend, family member - we desire, and tend to think, the other person should meet our needs.  And oftentimes we believe the other person should know our needs/desires without our even telling him.  When those needs/desires are not met, we put up walls, get angry or frustrated and often shut down.  What a recipe for disaster!

It’s a conscious decision to release our expectations and allow ourselves to be open to then unexpected.  Choose a Better Life by choosing to become aware of your expectations and willfully letting them go.  By doing so, you will enjoy life more and be blessed in ways you did not anticipate.

The past two weeks have been amazing and I’d be remiss if I didn’t share some of the ways I’ve been blessed.

Several weeks ago I noticed a problem on my roof.  A patch of shingles looked to be wavy.  “Interesting,” I thought.  Not too long afterwards I noticed a hole in the same spot.  Holes and roofs never go together well, especially when it’s raining.  But, through a referral of a referral I was introduced to the most amazing roofer who not only fixed my roof for a wonderful price, but he also let me slow pay because I had other pressing financial needs.

The same time our roof was beginning to look more like Swiss cheese than a solid roof, my husband’s car died. … completely died … at 11:45 pm … on the freeway on his way home from a business trip.  Never a good situation.  However, just a few days before I had mailed in our AAA renewal.  Although we did not have our AAA membership cards yet, AAA agreed to send a tow truck out to tow my husband and his car home.  Both made it home safely at virtually no cost.

Also around the same time, we received two medical bills in the mail that were unexpected.  These two bills totaled about $400.  We believed our insurance was covering these costs, when in fact, these bills are our responsibility.  “Ok, those were unexpected, but Woohoo, I have health insurance now … something I didn’t have a few months ago.”

This brings us to two days before my husband and I were leaving for our trip to San Francisco.  One of our dogs became quite ill and miserable.  So, off to the vet we went.  A few hundred dollars later I was bringing home my pup and a host of medications and supplements.  We were blessed with two sets of friends who graciously came over several times a day to take care of our dogs while we were gone.  One of our friends had to give our pup medicine at both meals as well as mix supplements into his food.  How thankful we were for friends who would do this for our beloved pets.

The night prior to our flight home from San Francisco we were told that our flight was canceled. (We were part of the American Airlines debacle) and there was only a possibility that the airline would be able to fly us home 2 days later.  But, because we were slotted to sign refinance papers for our home the day after our original flight, we had to get home on time.  There was nothing American Airlines could do.  But, a dear contact of my husband’s was able to get us on a Southwest Airlines’ flight that delivered us home just 60 minutes after our original flight schedule.

Because my husband’s car was officially dead, we knew we needed to replace it.  Three days ago we visited our local Saturn dealership.  The owner is an acquaintance and he recommended a terrific salesman who also happens to work in the finance department.  After two test drives we found a car we wanted to purchase, but were not sure we could afford it.  Not only did the dealership take our dead car as a trade-in, but they worked with us to get us into the car we desired with payments that fell within our budget.  We were blessed to drive away in a beautiful 2007 Aura.

While we were at the Saturn dealer I mentioned an issue I was having with my car, also a Saturn.  The Service department agreed to take my car and fit it into their schedule.  In the end it turned out that I had a bad fuel pump.  Replacing this fuel pump cost $600.  Not a minor amount considering the other outlays of money we’ve had lately.  But, the Service department was more than gentle in their dealings with me.  And, it turns out; I had been given a gift certificate to Saturn a few months back that helped offset the cost.

A key piece I forgot to mention … we signed the paperwork for refinancing out house on time. Because we have only been in our home for a little over a year, we were not able to pull any equity out of the house.  However, as a direct result of the brokerage firm working with us we are able to skip two months’ mortgage payments enabling us to cover the costs of all of the above.

As I’ve been thinking about all these things I am overwhelmed with God’s provision and how he uses other people in our lives.  And it is with an amazing amount of joy and gratitude that I realize I didn’t allow any of these circumstances to make me grumpy (that would not have been the case a few years ago) instead, I choose to have a good attitude believing everything would work out in the end.  And it has.

Our attitudes are self-fulfilling prophesies.  What we believe will happen often does because we create that reality.  Choose a Better Life by choosing to embrace situations and believe for positive outcomes.

Tomorrow I am dropping my daughter off at a friend’s house.  She will be there for a week because my husband and I are going out of town.  (We are headed to San Francisco because he is speaking at the Bulldog Conference.)

It has been a hectic week with home roof repairs, sick dogs and my trying to get caught up on work. So, instead of spending time developing a post today, I am going to spend some quality time with my daughter.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that you Choose a Better Life by finding some quality time either for yourself or to be shared with someone you love.

If you are a parent I’m sure you’ve said something along these lines to your kids, “Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up.  You only get to be a kid once.”  I’ve said this to my daughters on many occasions.  My youngest one seems especially eager to get to certain milestones in her life – dating, going to high school, driving, etc.  I guess that comes with being the last of three daughters to “grow up.”

But what is interesting, is that I could be saying the same thing to myself.  No, I don’t want to be older, but I often find myself looking ahead and looking forward to what is to come.  In and of itself, this is not a bad thing, I’m a huge proponent of being excited about the future, but when we let the future rob us of the present we are doing ourselves a disservice.

How many times have you said to yourself, “Wow, this month has gone by fast” or “I can’t believe Spring is already here.”  How often have you found yourself in the middle of one activity thinking about what you will do next?

I’m an advocate of planning and goal setting, but all too often we move from one task to the next without enjoying the present.  The adage, “stop and smell the roses” holds a lot of truth.

We need to slow down, smell the roses and live in the moment, this moment.  We need to stop wishing our lives away by looking so forward to, or worrying about, what is to come that we ignore what we’ve been given – the here and now.  Once today is gone, we will never get it back again.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to live in the moment and enjoying the present.  Life is full of wonderful moments if we would just stop and experience them.  Will you join me in doing so?