It is interesting how life often throws us curve balls … those unexpected annoyances that change our plans.  One minute we are heading to lunch with a full afternoon of meetings and the next minute our plans are derailed by something completely out of our control … curve ball.

This is what happened to me last Thursday.  I had just finished a client meeting (which, by the way, had not gone at all as I envisioned, not bad, just different) and my husband and I were headed for a sushi lunch. - When we are both in town we have lunch together once a week.  This gives us the opportunity to reconnect, go over our schedules, discuss our careers, and simply have a few minutes of alone time. – It was a sunny day and the traffic was not particularly heavy.  I was at the end of an intersection when I realized a car was running a red light and heading into my lane.

You guessed it, despite my slamming on the breaks and swerving, we collided.  Thankfully no one was seriously injured and the other driver pulled off the road and admitted the accident was his fault.  We spent the next hour waiting for a police officer to arrive and take a police report.  As we waited, the other driver and his passenger paced back and forth, argued, and complained that their day had been truly awful and that their vacation (they were headed out of town for the weekend) was now ruined.

As I watched and listened to the other driver and his passenger, I kept thinking, “How sad, you are choosing to have a bad day.”  I tried convincing them that it was still early in the day, they were not hurt, the officer would be done with his report shortly and they could still enjoy a long weekend away.  But, they were having no part of what I was saying.  So instead of wasting time trying to reason with them, I decided I’d reschedule my afternoon appointments and just sit and wait for the whole thing to be over.

Unfortunately, even after we wrapped up at the scene of the accident, the accident was still not “over.”  I am spending a lot of time dealing with insurance companies and adjusters trying to get my car repaired … curve ball  And I’m still having pain in my neck for which I’m seeing a doctor and which limits the amount of time I can spend working … curve ball.

As with everything in life, these curve balls bring the opportunity to practice choosing my attitude and my response.  I admit that the situation has been frustrating.  The other driver has disconnected his phone and not followed through on his commitments.  His insurance company cannot locate him and as a result they cannot process my claim.  In addition, my claim has been transferred three different times to three different adjusters and I am forced to cover my own medical expenses at the moment.

However, as I have been conditioning myself to Choose a Better Life it is becoming easier and easier to see the good side of things, even with curve balls.

I am thankful that there was not more traffic on the road when the accident occurred and therefore more cars were not involved.  I’m thankful the other driver had insurance and that he pulled over.  I am thankful that no one was seriously injured.  I’m thankful for the police officer who responded and took a report.  I’m thankful for cell phones with cameras so we could take pictures.  I’m thankful for my Blackberry that allowed me to contact my afternoon appointments.  I’m thankful the weather was good and we were not caught in the rain (we’ve had lots of rain lately.)  I’m thankful that, eventually, my car will be repaired.  And I’m thankful for doctors who will help with the pain.

Life is full of curve balls, but I’m thankful those curve balls don’t determine the quality of our lives.  Our response to the curve balls does; and our response is something we control.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to be thankful for the good, looking for the positive and taking control of your actions despite the curve balls that come your way.

So often we don’t pursue our dreams because we feel like they are too lofty, out of our reach, simply impossible.  We see the road blocks and give up before we even begin.

I know we can achieve great things if only we take the first step and trust our ability to take the next.

I recently read a quote in a little book titled New Beginnings by Sian Keogh.

“Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”

Choose a Better Life by choosing to take the firs step.  Do what is necessary.

To those readers in/from the US …

Happy 4th of July!

I hope you enjoy today and that you find a way of celebrating our freedom and the men/women who sacrifice so much to make it possible.

To the servicemen/women, past and present, who serve and protect our country I give you my deepest appreciation and say THANK YOU for all you do.

To my readers outside the US, I hope you have a fantastically blessed weekend.

About this time tomorrow my mom will be flying in from California (I’m in NC) for a two-week visit. Monday morning she, my youngest daughter and I will be embarking on a 12-day, 1200 mile road trip. Yes, gas prices are high and yes, we’ll have to make compensations for that, but I am expecting the two-weeks to be wonderful.

We will be seeing friends and family, some of which I’ve not seen since I was 8 years old, but we will also be taking things as they come. We have destinations planned and some idea of what we’d like to do at a few of the locations, but beyond that we are just ready for an adventure.

During our trip, I may not have the opportunity to post, but know that I will post the Tuesday after I return, Tuesday, July 1st. In the meantime, Choose a Better Life by choosing to enjoy what comes your way without worrying about all the details.

As Zig Ziglar says in Life Lifters, “Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will either say, “I wish I had,” or “I’m glad I did.”

In the first chapter of  Life Lifters, Zig Ziglar defines Attitudosis as, “a condition brought on by your neglect of others and their needs and by your extreme focus on and excessive attention to the most minuscule aches, pains, and inconveniences in your life.”

I think at one time or another we have all suffered from Attitudosis.  The question we must ask ourselves is whether or not we allow Attitudosis to become a chronic illness in our lives.  If the answer is yes, we must take immediate steps to rectify the situation.

Attitudosis not only isolates us, but it makes us bitter, grumpy and boring.  And this has a direct impact on our quality of life.

Take a few moments and seriously examine what consumes most of your thoughts.  Are you focused on the “minuscule aches, pains, and inconveniences in your life” or are you focusing on others’ needs and the beauty and blessings you’ve been given?

Choose a Better Life by choosing to rid yourself of Attitudosis.

One of the challenges of living in North Carolina is that my allergies can be out of control causing all sorts of havoc in my life.  Yesterday was one of those days so I apologize for not posting.

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As I was getting caught up on my magazine reading (we have several subscriptions that come to our home) I noticed an ad that I’ve seen several times before, as I’m sure have you. It is a magazine ad that features a celebrity.  The celebrity fills in the blank in the following sentence:  “I love my ________ life.”

The reason this particular ad caught my attention was because the celebrity filled in the blank with “complicated.”  “How sad,” I thought.  I didn’t find it sad that her life was complicated, almost everyone’s is, but because of all the adjectives she could have chosen to describe her life, she chose “complicated.”

This made me wonder what adjective I would choose to describe my life.  A plethora ran though my mind, but the first was the one I decided was most accurate … blessed.  I love my blessed life!

How would you fill in the blank?  Why did you pick that particular word?  If your adjective is not positive, what can you do to change it?

My life is not blessed because everything is perfect or without issues – everyone who knows me knows that is not the case.  But, my life is blessed because I choose to focus on the good.  I choose to look for the God-sightings and I choose to bless instead of curse.  As a direct result, I am blessed in return.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to fill in the blank with a positive adjective.  Only you hold the power to choose.

As you know, my husband and I live a “Pay it Forward” lifestyle. We firmly believe that we have been placed on this Earth to, among other things, bless others. So we look for ways – some small, some large – to help.

Unfortunately, many of us feel as if we are too small to make a positive impact. “I am just one person, what can I do?” Honestly, one person can change the world. Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King Jr. are just two examples, albeit well-known examples, of this fact.

“But, I am not Mother Teresa, I don’t have her compassion. And I certainly don’t have Martin Luther King Jr.’s charisma.” Maybe not, but you do have your unique gifts and talents… gifts and talents that, with some creativity can be put to use to make a difference in your environment.

Along those lines, I recently read a blog post (read the entire post here http://www.blogwinder.net/?p=43#comment-10 ) that illustrates how little it would actually take for us to make an everlasting impact on this world and some of its “bigger problems.”  This post stated that if just 4% of the world’s population donated just $1 a week we would have a NET of $ 11,094,720,000.00 [Just over 11 BILLION DOLLARS] every year at our disposal.

That $11 billion could be used to provide health care for the poorest families.  It could be used to end world hunger.  It could provide quality education for the millions of children who never set foot in a school.  It could provide safe housing for the world’s homeless.  The possibilities are exciting and endless.

However, you don’t have to tackle the world’s biggest issues to make an impact.  You can begin by simply meeting the need of a neighbor. Either way, Choose a Better Life by choosing to see beyond yourself and make a difference. 

I was hoping to have more information to share with you today, but I will have to post the details at a later time.

However, I will be taping an interview for the America at Work segment.  The show broadcasts on VoiceAmerica Business Network on Thursday Noon (EST) and 9:00 am (PST).  My segment (Actually, my husband is doing the first half of the show, I’m doing the second) will be broadcast this Thursday, May 8th.
For more information on America at Work visit the site http://debrastamp.com/americaatwork.html

I look forward to hearing your feedback.

I was hoping to write something inspiring and wonderfully encouraging today, but alas, here it is the end of the day and I’m still looking at a blank screen.  Nothing is coming to mind and the more I try to “trigger” something the stronger my writer’s block seems to be.

Isn’t this sometimes true of life?  The harder we strain for something the farther away it seems to get.  The irony here is that the more we want something the more we just need to relax and let it happen.  Of course we must do our due diligence and prepare, but after we have done all we can do, we must just sit back and relax.  We need to stop straining and trying to force a situation and just let it come to fruition.

Interestingly I’m having this very discussion with my daughter right now.  She will be auditioning for both an advanced drama troupe and an advanced girls’ choir next week.  She desperately wants to “make it” into both groups, but with no formal training in either area, she may find she is better suited for the “general” ensembles.  I hope that is not the case.  I hope that she knocks ‘em dead next week and is brilliant in her auditions.  But, if she is not, she needs to welcome the results, learn as much as she can from the groups in which she is placed and try again next year.

This is a lesson that is most difficult to learn, not only for my teen daughter, but also for us as adults.  We want what we want and we don’t want to settle for less.  I am all for setting lofty goals and striving to reach them – I believe there is great value in shooting for the stars and I do it most of the time – but in doing so, we must not overlook the value that comes from interim steps.  When we don’t reach our goals we must embrace where we are and learn as much from our situation as possible.  That way, the next time we shoot for the stars we will be better equipped to reach them.

Choose a Better Life by reaching for the stars, embracing the learning that happens along the way, and relaxing and letting situations unfold by themselves.

This past weekend I was honored to share part of my story with a group of 70 women at a retreat.  I was slotted to speak Sunday morning after Friday night, Saturday morning and Saturday night festivities.

As the weekend went on, I had the opportunity to talk with many women whom I’d never met before.  I had a great time getting to know new people and sharing this weekend with them.

On Saturday afternoon I was able to spend several hours with a new girlfriend.  As we talked we both confessed that we had come to this retreat with a great deal of expectations.  And right away it was evident those expectations would not be met.

My new friend admitted that by the end of the first evening she was angry and grumpy.  “What do you mean there is no … [fill in the blank]?”  “How can a retreat be put together without … [again, fill in the blank]?”

We both had similar expectations and we both had been a bit disappointed.  However, thankfully, we both realized that our expectations were getting in the way of our blessings.  We realized that because we had both come with a preconceived idea of what was to happen, we were not able to see beyond those expectations at all the wonderful things that were going on around us.

We both came to our senses early on and were able to enjoy the weekend.  But, this experience made me realize just how often we let our own expectations get in the way of our blessings.

When we enter a situation with expectations we are, in essence, saying, because of who I am (or who I think I am), I have needs (real or perceived) and you need to meet them.  If/when those needs are not met we become indignant and put up walls.  Those walls block us from any good thing that may be happening around, or to, us.

We tend to carry expectations with us when we attend events, go on vacations, travel for business, attend meetings, make presentations, buy new items, etc.  Without our even being aware of them, expectations follow us everywhere.

One area expectations seem to be the strongest, and tend to do the most damage is in our relationships.  Whatever the relationship - spouse, friend, family member - we desire, and tend to think, the other person should meet our needs.  And oftentimes we believe the other person should know our needs/desires without our even telling him.  When those needs/desires are not met, we put up walls, get angry or frustrated and often shut down.  What a recipe for disaster!

It’s a conscious decision to release our expectations and allow ourselves to be open to then unexpected.  Choose a Better Life by choosing to become aware of your expectations and willfully letting them go.  By doing so, you will enjoy life more and be blessed in ways you did not anticipate.