Our lives and emotions are like onions, you peel a layer off and there is another one underneath.  We are wonderfully complex and multidimensional allowing us to enjoy experiences on many different levels.

But because we have so many layers, an issue we thought was resolved can show itself again when we least expected it.  This happened to me recently.

I had worked for a long time on personal healing and had forgiven those who wronged me. (See post Forgiveness with Boundaries on 10.26.07.)  After my forgiveness had been given I enjoyed many months of peace in regards to these individuals.  Then suddenly, a few weeks ago, I realized I was angry at these people again – very angry.

It took me several days of journaling, praying and talking with my husband to realize that I was not angry for the past, I truly had been healed and given my forgiveness, but angry because of how I felt I was being treated now.  What was even more frustrating is that the people with whom I was angry are people that I so long to have a good, healthy relationship with.

As I was journaling and praying I had several epiphanies.  First, I realized that the hurt I feel over what “could have been” is probably shared by these people too.  Secondly, I realized that they are probably clueless about the pain that they continue to cause and if confronted, they would say that was not their intent at all.  Finally, I realized that they probably have no idea how I feel.

I have been hesitant about sharing my desire for a rebuilt, healthy relationship because of fear of rejection and additional hurt.  However, I am fairly positive these folks feel the same way.  Even though I am unaware, I can be fairly certain that I have acted in ways to cause pain and hurt in this situation as well.

So, I decided to take a risk.  I’ve written a letter to one of these individuals telling him how I desire to have a relationship with him.  I have not gone into detail about my hurt or about the others involved.  I am focusing strictly on my relationship with him.  I am hopeful that we can slowly begin to mend fences and start anew on our relationship.

I must say, once I thought about how each of these others must be feeling my anger dissipated almost immediately and I began to see them in a new way.  Now I am excited to see what God will do in our relationships.

Choose a Better Life by being willing to look at a situation from another’s point of view and being willing to mend fences.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 at 9:59 am and is filed under Forgiveness. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.