The Kindness Cure

12th November 2008

The Kindness Cure


First thing first, I apologize for not posting yesterday.  Now that the site is back up and running my plan is to continue to post each Tuesday.  However, in light of being transparent (this is how my husband and I try to live our lives) I need to let you know Tuesdays may not always be possible for me.

I am facing a few health issues that get in the way from time to time.  Thankfully I do not have anything “horrible” or “fatal,” but it seems that the Fibromyalgia diagnosis I received many years ago was incorrect.  Apparently I picked up several viruses and other things when I was in college and in my travels to Belgrade.  And our stint in a mold infected house (we didn’t know it had mold when we moved in) pushed my immune system over the edge and my health has been a challenge ever since.

The wonderful news is that I have finally found a doctor who is able to treat me and I am making progress. I am able to be treated twice a week and the doctor is hopeful that in several months I will be well and once again full of energy.

This is all to say that unfortunately, I still have many “bad days” where I am unable to do much and am forced to rest, which, as I am learning, is not a bad thing at all.  In fact, I am very blessed to have this down time and I am learning to embrace it.  However, there will be times when those “bad days” fall on a Tuesday and I am just not able to post.  When that happens I will post as soon as possible.  I appreciate your understanding and patience.

On to The Kindness Cure …

As you know, my family tries very hard to live a pay it forward lifestyle.  We are firm believers that we are given many opportunities each day to bless others and by doing so, both their lives and ours are enriched.  Blessing others can just be a comment said in passing, it can be literally saying a blessing over someone, it can be making an effort to serve someone in need, or it can be doing a random act of kindness.  In whatever form you choose to bless someone, you make the world a better place.

Along those lines, the Kindness Cure was developed.  The goal of The Kindness Cure is to inspire 20,000 people around the globe to do 1 act of kindness each week.  By doing so, over 1 million acts of kindness will done in a one-year period.  What a wonderful, and obtainable, goal!

I encourage each of you to register for The Kindness Cure at their website http://www.thekindnesscure.org  There you can join the forum, share your stories of paying it forward, and read about others’.  Take the time and register today.  It only takes a few short minutes.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to pay it forward by doing acts of kindness for others.

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7th November 2008

Technical Difficulties Resolved

Woohoo!!!  The site is back up and running (Thank you Paul Miller).

Thank you for your patience while we were trying to figure out what happened.  We still don’t know, but things seem to be working well now.

I will begin posting next Tuesday.

Have a wonderful weekend!

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21st October 2008

Technical Difficulties

Choose a Better Life is experiencing technical difficulties.  Please excuse us as we try to uncover the root of the problem so we can provide a solution.

Thank you for your patience.

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7th October 2008

Thoughts to Ponder


Over the past few weeks I have pulled a few nuggets of treasure (those small thoughts that enlighten me) from several different speakers.  I will share a few of them with you, without commentary, as thoughts to ponder:

          The cheapest facelift is a laugh.

          The most important human right is the right to dream.

          The thing that has the greatest impact on your quality of life is your attitude.

          The only person who can change your power level is you.  You are never powerless.

Choose a Better Life by taking time to ponder the nuggets of treasures that come your way.

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30th September 2008

Want It or Afraid of It?

Recently I attended a conference where one of the keynote speakers quoted Bill Cosby.  Cosby said,

“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”

I love this quote because it pertains to most areas of life.  I believe many of us do not pursue our goals not because we are afraid of failure, as we have long heard, but because we are afraid of success. We become comfortable in our current circumstances even if those circumstances are causing misery.

My health is a great example.  For years I was overweight, horribly fatigued, sick and limited in my ability to live.  I spent many of those years thinking about getting well, researching steps to do so, and starting and stopping multiple programs.  When I was finally honest with myself I realized that I had been hiding behind my poor health - using it as an excuse for my limitations and failures.

In my mind, my business was not successful because my declining health limited the amount of time I could devote to becoming successful.  I also on some level believed people were not hiring me because I was obese.  So I used these excuses to justify my poor business performance.  Subconsciously I knew that if I eliminated these obstacles and became healthy I would no longer be able to hide behind them.  I was afraid I would still be unsuccessful and then everyone would know I had been living a lie.

Now I did not purposely become sick and overweight.  I initially had little control over my circumstances.  However, I allowed my circumstances to become excuses and I choose to wallow in those excuses instead of fighting my disease.  My fear of getting healthy outweighed my desire for it.  And as a result I wasted many years of my life.  Years I am never able to get back.

We are not always deliberate in our sabotage, but I do believe we allow our fears to manifest themselves in ways that limit our success.  (Success is not only defined by career or status, it is defined in many other ways including: our faithfulness to our calling, our nurturing a happy marriage, our willingness to take risks, our follow-through on commitments, etc.)  So, often we settle for much less than life has to offer.

Choose a Better Life by deciding you want it (whatever “it” is) more than you are afraid of it.  Then, stop making excuses.  Bind your fear and go for it.

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23rd September 2008

Making an Impact


First, I apologize for not posting last week.  I was swamped with work and just didn’t make the time to write.  But, on to today …

Lately I’ve been pondering the question, “If I had unlimited resources, how would I impact the world?”  For me, I can think of nothing worse than getting to the end of my life and realizing I had wasted my time here on Earth.  With every ounce of my being I desire to be used by God to impact the lives of those around me and around the globe. I want my life to make a difference for others.

Last night I attended an awards banquet for business men and women in our area.  These are men and women who are considered “Movers and Shakers” because they are making a difference in our community.  While there I met Jeff.

Several years ago Jeff, and about 400 other people, was laid off from his job.  At some point in his job search he realized he and several of his co-workers were not going to be able to find employment.  So they decided they would open their own business.  As the business became profitable they agreed on three objectives.

The first was to ensure that they, and their employees, earned enough money to care for their families.  Once that objective was met they moved to their second: providing great healthcare for their team.  They contracted with Blue Cross/Blue Shield to provide some of the best medical benefits in the area.  Their final objective was to give back to their employees, so ever quarter in which they are profitable (they have been profitable for 29 quarters in a row), they return 25% of company profits to their employees – every employee gets a share.

Jeff’s business has been in existence for six years now and he has over 400 employees.  He says that for him and his partners, the most important goal is to take care of their employees.  After that, the rest is icing on the cake.

During last night’s event Jeff shared a few of the company’s “success stories.”  These stories were not about how much money the company makes or about contracts they have secured.  The stories were about people whose lives had been changed. One example was the man who was, in essence, on the streets when he was hired.  He had no skills, but Jeff’s company believed in him and trained him.  He has since gotten his life together, been promoted several times, gotten married, bought a house and is pouring his life back into others.  That is success.  That is impacting the world.

The more people I meet the more I realize that those who are making a difference in the world seem to have come through a place of pain.  (In Jeff’s story it was through his own unemployment that the decided to provide for others.)  They take their pain learn from it, grow because of it, and turn it around into something positive … something that will impact the world.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to use your pain, struggles and experiences to make a difference in the lives of others.  I would love for you to share your stories by leaving a comment below.  As we share we encourage others to take risks and step out to make an impact.

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9th September 2008

Morning Choice

Someone recently asked me how I start my day.  Aside from the normal morning activities - exercising, showering, eating, taking my daughter to school - I have incorporated a few additional steps that help start my day on the right foot.

First, I have a quiet time - a time where I sit, journal, pray and just be still.  This helps me get my focus straight for the day and helps me clear my mind of any “white noise” that may be hindering my right-thinking.

The other thing I do in the mornings is bless my day, my family’s day, and the day of others who are on my mind.  Literally, I have a list of blessings I declare over myself and others.

For example, for my husband, I bless his work day … his relationships at work, his effectiveness and efficiency, and his ability to meet his deadlines.

For my youngest daughter, I bless her school day … her desire and ability to do well in school; her ability to nurture and develop healthy and encouraging relationships; and her ability to stand in the truth of who God made her.

For me, I bless my health, my energy and focus, my ability to connect with my clients, and my ability to lead my clients into greater success.

Again, I do this for each person in my family, for our finances, for my business, and for anyone else that is on my heart.  I do this not because I expect anything in return, but because I know there is power in our words.  By saying blessings out loud I am imparting a portion of God into each area and releasing His power to do mighty things in the lives of those around me.  And who doesn’t want that?  Even my friends who claim not to believe in God appreciate the positive energy that is sent their way.

The other thing you should know about my morning routine is that I don’t always wake up jumping out of bed with  vigor, ready to attack the world.  In fact, some days I’d much rather just pull the covers up and go back to sleep.

Today was one of those days.  When I woke up I was tired (the dog woke me up in the middle of the night again) and sore (from a new workout I attempted.)  I found myself thinking, “Oh, I’d really like to go back to sleep.  Can Britini get herself to school today?”

Thankfully, I recognized my stinking thinking quickly so I was able to stop it before I wallowed too long. Once I recognized what was going on, I had to consciously stop my train of thought and refocus my mind.  I began saying, “I get to have a client meeting this morning.  I get to build my business even further today.  I get to swing by my husband’s office and say hi.”  By changing my thoughts I began to change my mood.

I still didn’t bound out of bed with the energy of a toddler, but I did get up with a thankful heart for what the day held.  I made a choice this morning to start my day well.

Choose a Better Life by choosing, first thing in the morning, to focus your thoughts on the positive things that lie ahead.  By doing so, your demeanor will be positive and you will positively impact those you come in contact with throughout the day.

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2nd September 2008

Life is Fun


At the risk of sounding arrogant or phony, I must say, life is fun.  It really is.  I am enjoying my life each day and I wouldn’t trade it for any other..

The reason I share this is because this has not always been the case.  Although I have had fun times throughout my life I have never really enjoyed life like I am enjoying it now.  I feel like I have finally “arrived.”  No, I have not reached my final career goal nor have I fit into the size 6 jeans I once coveted.  I am not driving a new car or living in a large house.  I am not famous nor am I earning the amount of money I’d eventually like to earn.  But, I am having fun living the life I have been given.

Interestingly, as I began to change my thought patterns a few years ago and I began Choose a Better Life, a funny thing happened … my life got better.  And it continues to get better.  When people ask how I am doing I find myself genuinely answering, “I am doing great.  Life is fun.”

This is not to say that life is without its challenges.  Trust me, I have plenty – a 21-year old daughter who refuses to speak to me for reasons I do not understand; a biological family that is far from healthy; a dear friend on the other side of the country who is hurting deeply and whom I cannot help; and physical pain from injuries that never seems to fully disappear.  These are just a few of my current challenges.

But, when I think of my life, I don’t think of those challenges first.  What I think of is the joy I have for living and the abundance of blessings I get to experience every day.  I love my life.  I really do.

It is no small coincidence that as I began to retrain my mind to focus on the positive and as I began to bless others and myself the negative things in my life seemed to take up less and less space in my consciousness.  Now I have to stop and really think if I want to list my challenges – this is not something I do very often.  In fact, I spend so much time listing my blessings and the things that are going well that I often don’t have time to think of the challenges.  Nor do I want to.

No, I am not living in denial.  I am well aware of the areas of life that are less than perfect and I work to do what I can to change them.  But, I no longer allow them to consume me, overwhelm me, or dictate my moods and feelings.  I wasted too many years doing just that.  Now I celebrate life and enjoy the fun.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to let go of the negative, focus on the positive, bless yourself and others, and have fun!

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12th August 2008

Simple Things

Welcome back!  Oh, wait I was the one who was gone. J

I had a great time on my personal retreat.  I took several days and went to an ocean town just to slow down, be alone, reflect, listen, and plan.  As I’ve shared, I do this at least once a year and I so enjoy the time away.  Life is so busy that we seldom get to be still for an extended period unless we make it a priority and put it into our schedules.

I always leave my retreats with a renewed focus and an excitement for next steps.  But, I also leave a bit more relaxed and, hopefully, a bit wiser for having taken the time to listen to God and assess my current position and emotional health.

One of the things that struck me this past week was just how much I enjoy the simple things.  Several times I found myself walking along the docks gazing into the water with a smile on my face.  I was content just being near the ocean.

On one occasion I took a ferry out to an island.  I wouldn’t characterize the island as deserted, but no one lives on it and it is mostly inhabited by wild horses.  I walked for several miles to the far side of the island and found myself completely alone … I literally could not see another person in either direction.  Occasionally, a Coast Guard helicopter would fly by, I assumed to ensure all was well, but other than that I saw no one.  It was wonderful.  I opened my cooler, had lunch and enjoyed looking at the shells the Atlantic Ocean had washed on shore.

Other times I sat on the front porch with my book, journal, pen and a tall glass of cold water.  I would smile and say hello to people as they walked by.  It was heavenly.

I was staying at a bed and breakfast so I enjoyed the company of others over breakfast and would occasionally run into them in the halls.  What I noticed is that most of these couples woke up, ate breakfast, rushed off and filled their day with activities.  In fact, one couple was frustrated that there was not more “to do” in this small town.  But none of these couples seemed especially happy or seemed to be enjoying their vacations.  There was always something to complain about … the heat, the humidity, the other people … always something.

Instead of choosing to see and enjoy the little blessings, the simple things … the always cold pitcher of ice water waiting just inside the door of the inn, the freshly baked cookies the innkeeper made each day, the fact that we were 1 block away from the ocean, the appreciative smiles from locals as we shopped in their stores … many of the couples from the inn went grumpily through each day and, I suspect, ended their vacations with less than wonderful memories.  What a waste.

Choose a Better Life by choosing to see and enjoy the simple things … the little blessings we are given each day.  Stop and notice the flowers that are blooming.  Listen to the birds as they sing outside your office.  Enjoy the dinner that was prepared for you.  Smile as your pet greets you at the door after a long day.  Sing along with your favorite tune when it comes on the radio.  Our lives are full of simple blessings if only we choose to enjoy them.

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2nd August 2008

Personal Retreat

Happy Saturday!

I know, this is not my normal post day, but I will be out of town this Tuesday so I wanted to let you know I will not be posting this week.  As I’ve shared before, at least once a year (I try for once a quarter) I get away by myself for a personal retreat.  This is a time for me to pray, journal, read, plan and rejuvenate.  I will be taking one of these retreats this coming week so I will not be posting.

I hope you all have a fantastic weekend and week and I look forward to sharing with you when I return.  In the meantime, Choose a Better Life, by choosing to take some time for yourself.

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