Barriers to Fun
posted in General |I am a member of the Business Alliance at my daughter’s middle school. As an alliance it is our pleasure to help narrow the gap between the business community and the students. One of the activities we provide is an annual Career Day in which we bring in people representing a variety of careers.
This year we were blessed with 53 speakers representing 53 different careers: everything from Crime Scene Investigators, to Reporters, to Mechanics to Fashion Designers. The keynote speaker was Ryan Allis, the 23-year old entrepreneur and CEO of iContact.
At the last minute I was asked to fill in for a speaker who was not able to attend the event due to a family emergency. Happily I agreed to talk with two groups of 6th graders about what I do. To keep it simple, I told them I was a Corporate Trainer who is paid to play games.
Since I was dong this off-the-cuff I did not have any materials or props so I decided to have the students play some of the games I use in my workshops. Although I expected a little bit of resistance, I was taken aback by the number of students who were afraid to drop their guard and have fun.
I realized that middle school is about the time people start putting up walls. By age 11 we are very aware of cliques so we try to shore-up our hearts to protect ourselves from rejection.
The more I thought about this the more I realized that for most people, those middle school walls never come down. We often move into adulthood with the same fears of rejection and so instead of tearing down our walls we make them even stronger.
Before long we are living in our own fortress determined not to let anyone get to close or see the “real me.” As a direct result, we often miss out on some of life’s greatest opportunities to have fun because we are afraid of what people might think.
I am a huge proponent of games, not only in my workshops, but in life. In my workshops I use fun, silly games as a way to get everyone on the same page … to give people the opportunity to realize that regardless of title, we are all the same. … to begin breaking down the walls so they will be open to one another.
In our home, we use games the same way. We have family night where we turn off the TV and just spend time together playing games. My husband collects Monopolies so we are often playing one version or another. (My favorite is the Rudolph edition.) What we’ve found is that whether we are playing just as a family or have included friends we always have a great time. We smile, laugh and talk about a number of things that would otherwise not come up.
By being willing to do something that can be seen as “silly” or “childish” we open the door for communication and bonding; two things that are crucial to our personal development.
Whether you are at home with family and friends or out in public, Choose a Better Life by breaking down the barriers and just have fun. Your life and your relationships will be enriched. And I guarantee the majority of people who look your way will not be judging you, but will be wishing they had enough courage to do what you are doing.