Blessing Road Rage
posted in General |I just read an article in a magazine published by my insurance company titled “What’s Driving You? Feeling Annoyed? Aggravated? Angry? Plenty of us get irked by the behavior of other drivers, but whose problem is it anyway?”
The article states that although the most extreme form of road rage, when we use our vehicles as weapons, only occurs 1200 times/year, there are over 400 billions other incidents of aggressive exchanges on the road each year. 400 billion! That number is astonishing. These aggressive exchanges include things like driving close to someone’s bumper in an effort to get him to change lanes or slowing down and deliberately not changing lanes when someone is riding your bumper.
The article quoted Dr. Leon James, professor of social psychology at the University of Hawaii, as saying that, “’Our culture condones the expression of hostility whenever we feel we’ve been wronged. We want to retaliate and punish. The violation of our sense of personal freedom arouses negative emotions that can escalate from frustration to hostility to hatred.’” As a direct result we take our frustration out on other drivers.
I have a better idea. When you feel someone has done something to “wrong” you on the road, instead of fighting back or yelling or honking your horn, say a simple blessing over him. I started doing this several months ago and I’ve noticed that the time I spend in the car is much more enjoyable. The traffic isn’t any better and I still come across people who cut me off or drive 20 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, but it no longer stresses me out or angers me.
Instead of my knee-jerk reaction to call the offender names or slam on my horn or complain about the drivers in my city, I’ve trained myself to simply say a blessing over the other driver. Usually my blessing is short, “I bless you in the blue Mazda today. I bless your family, you job and your finances.” That’s it. I’m done and ready to move on.
One of the things that is so great about blessing is that instead of my getting agitated - my jaw locked, my muscles tense, my attitude bad – I smile and simply go about my business having avoided all the negativity that would have affected the rest of my day.
In addition to the personal benefits, blessing others is fun. It’s the ultimate gift in paying-it-forward. By blessing the other driver I have opened the door for good things to happen to him, things that he isn’t expecting and things that will hopefully surprise him. And hopefully, these things will positively impact other people he comes in contact with throughout the rest of his day.
Learning to bless someone who has angered you is a process. I didn’t start by blessing the other driver’s day, family and finances right away. I started with fun and funny things that enabled me to defuse my anger first. I’d bless the other driver’s cat, dog and/or hamster. Then I’d bless things like his home and yard. It didn’t matter whether or not the driver actually had pets or a home, the point was to get me to a place where I could actually bless him and mean it.
This is a tactic I still use. So much in fact, that the joke among some of my friends and family has become, “Watch out, if someone is blessing your dog you know you’ve done something to really tick him off!”
Regardless of where the blessing starts by simply opening your mouth and offering a blessing instead of a curse you are impacting the other person, your own attitude and the world around you in a positive way. Start Choosing a Better Life by preempting your anger and offering a blessing to those who would otherwise frustrate you.